Fishing Pox Epidemic

The cold, wind and snow has fishermen spending way too much time in the garage, basement or by the fireplace. Persistent winter weather has kept many off the lake since before Christmas. The fish don’t seem to mind.

The longer fishermen spend on the internet, watching television or reading fishing catalogues, the more susceptible they become to the illness known as “fishing pox”. In fact, some parts of the state have reported that the dreaded disease has reached epidemic proportions. In case you aren’t aware, fishing pox has been around since pre-historic times. That is why archeologists find many drawings of fish on the walls of caves. Until recently, it wasn’t thought to be a disease, and it is not covered by health insurance or Medicare.

What are the symptoms? In the beginning, the telltale signs are lying on the couch for extended periods of time, watching re-runs of Bill Dance Bloopers on television, flipping the pages of fishing catalogues and spending hours on outdoor websites. This is followed by a period of pining, despondency and a craving for Vienna sausage. The final, and most expensive stage, is when the sufferer leaves the house to get away for a few minutes. The first stop is usually a sporting goods store. Because fishing pox has a deadening effect on the senses (common sense), money spent on tackle, marine electronics, and other gear doesn’t seem to matter. It’s easy to rationalize by saying, “What the heck, I haven’t spent any money on fishing equipment all winter.” In extreme cases, the pox victim skips the outdoor shops and goes instead to his favorite bass boat or truck dealership. There he is greeted warmly and treated like an old fishing buddy, all the while, the salesperson is selling him a new bass boat or 4 X 4 truck.

Those who have had fishing pox know the only real cure is to go fishing. If it’s too cold, so what, go anyway!