Hope

Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the US for all ages. Every day, approximately 123 Americans die by suicide. There is one death by suicide in the US every twelve minutes. Depression affects twenty-five percent of Americans ages 18 and older in a given year. Suicide takes the lives of over 44,965 Americans every year. Only half of all Americans experiencing major depression receive treatment. There is one suicide for every four-suicide attempt in the elderly. In Kentucky for 2018, there were 756 suicides. More than twice as many people die by suicide in Kentucky annually than by homicide.

I realize this is not a popular subject for most of us, but our fighting men and women coming back home from wars from around the world, our citizens on drugs, the many problems of our elderly face and the lack of purpose in the lives of our young people, all can find themselves in a state of hopelessness. As you know, most problems are only solved when concerned friend or neighbor steps in to help. We should not wait for someone else because usually that person is never available.

Depression may be evaluated on one’s personal burdens, emotional pain, negative feelings, social interaction and feelings of hopelessness. In all of these, death may be perceived as an escape from the acquired pain. For a person to choose death, he/she must overcome intense emotional distress and be highly tolerant of pain and conflict.

Research has proven people who choose death usually associate themselves with high risks activity such as playing violent and extreme sports and getting in physical fights. This kind of behavior offers a sense of fearlessness concerning lethal self-injury. One in twenty-five people seeking medical care in the emergency room from self-inflected wounds, such as cutting, burning, sticking objects in the skin and healing prevention, will kill themselves in the five years. Usually, high pain tolerance is a good thing, but here it is a fatal risk factor.

Through years of research the following are the strongest risk factors for predicting suicidal thoughts: prior history of suicidal thoughts, a sense of hopelessness, a diagnosis of depression, a history of being abused, and an anxiety disorder diagnosis. Next, is the prediction of a suicide attempt: prior self-harm activity, prior suicide attempt, any personality disorder diagnosis, and a prior psychiatric hospitalization. Lastly, is the prediction of a completed suicide: a prior psychiatric hospitalization, prior suicide attempt, and prior history of suicidal thoughts, low socioeconomic status, and the presence of stressful life events.

There are so many reasons people find themselves in this situation. It may be someone who has lost a member of his/her family or their job, the war hero, the drug addict or the person with a neurological chemical imbalance. However, there are few single markers in isolation that predicts who will kill themselves. So, what should we do? We must be willing to pay attention to the people around us and seek help for them. The following are some ways to help.

First, talk to them in a space that is comfortable. Ease into the conversation and greet them in kindness. Be as relaxed and calm as possible. Communicate in a straightforward manner, sticking to the one topic. Be respectful, compassionate and empathetic to their feelings. Be a good listener and make eye contact as you give them the opportunity to talk. Talk on their age and development level. Remember, mental illness has nothing to do with a person’s intelligence. Show respect and understanding when they become upset or confused. Genuinely express your concern and offer support and help if they are responsive. Give them hope for recovery and offer encouragement and prayers.

There are some things one should avoid saying. Do not say “Just pray about it”, or “You just nee to change you’re attitude”, or “Stop harping on the negative, you should just start living”, or “Stop thinking negative”, or “Everyone feels that way sometimes”, or “Yes, we all feel a little crazy now and then.” They need to be lead to a path of healing, not left dangling in hopelessness.
There are a few things one should avoid doing. Do not criticize, blame, or be sarcastic or condescending. Do not raise your voice and show no hostility. Do not talk too much, thus be a good listener and allow silence and pauses. Do not assume things about them.

Some of the symptoms of depression can be fatigue, insomnia, anxiety and stress. Some of the triggers for suicidal thoughts can be depression, anxiety, not taking care of one’s health and poor diet. Emotional well-being depends on medical, psychological, social, psychiatric, behavioral, life style and spiritual factors in a person’s daily life.
Some common sense things one can do is eat well, including dietary supplements, seek therapy, meditation, increase physical activity, improve social interaction and seek spiritual help.

One of the leading psychiatric text books has 500,000 lines of text referring to anxiety, depression, terror, shame, guilt, anger and fear but only 5 lines on hope, 1 line on joy, and not one line on compassion, forgiveness or love. So what is the objective of this presentation? Maybe you know someone near to you, in your family, at work, at church, or even in your neighborhood. It all depends upon their mental state as to how much communication can be achieved, but maybe you can make a difference by showing compassion and the desire to get them the help they need to prevent them from taking their life.

If the person needs professional help maybe you can suggest the following: call your personal doctor or go to the hospital emergency department, call the local crisis service for your area or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline or 911.

Bonefish