Tyme,
Very sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. I know first hand that there is nothing that is harder to deal with.
Second, go over the head of the person with whom you spoke. You may even want to let the local news papers know of what is going on.
Lastly, unless the law has changed, send them the money for the bill, and not the penalty. Once they cash that check, and accept some money on the bill, you can refuse to pay the remainder of the bill. This was a little known law that I learned about in one of my classes. I know as of 5 years or so ago, the law still existed. I don't know if it is a KY only law, or federal law. My memory is just not that good anymore. LOL
In any case if you really can't get out of it, simply insist that the bill will be paid by the estate. In KY, an estate can not by settled for 6 months. That way at least the phone company will have to wait a while for their money.
I am not a lawyer, but I have negotiated things like this very often. Generally if you get high enough in the company, you can make head way. The frontline operators and their supervisors generally don't have the authority to over ride these types of "mistakes"... That is why I tend to go to the top immediately. If you do go to the top guy/gal, mark the envelope that you send your complaint/inquiry in as "personal and confidential." What this does is it makes it illeagal for a secretary to open the envelope. Also be sure you use the old addage, "you catch more flys with honey, then you do vinegar." Treat the folks the way you would want them to treat you, even though you really want to bite their &*$# heads off.
BTW, did your mother still have a phone supplied by the phone company? If so, there is nothing you can do about that. However, my mom and dad had the same type issue. I had purchased them a phone and returned the old phone company phone to the phone company, but did not audit their bill. I found out they had been charging them for the phone for several months. It took a little negotiating, but I got mom and dad their refund.
I wish you peace and compassion that only God can give with the feelings of loss and grief over the loss of your mother.
Danny