Ever roped a deer?

[Tyme2fish]

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up - 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.
The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.

At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slowly and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set beforehand ... kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do!

I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head - almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal - like a horse - strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal.

This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed.

What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are lying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.

[CMIDD]

Awesome! Loved it!!

[mhall]

Tyme please tell me this is a joke and you really didn't do this, lol. Good Lord man if you are serious what were you thinking?? You being a retired pharmacist you are obviously an educated man?? Deer kill as many people every year as bears do maybe more. Their strength is absolutely incredible. Had a guy we knew many years ago jump on a confused fawn and was going to try and capture it by hand. Ha Ha Ha I can't stop laughing it nearly killed him. he lost teeth and everything. That story broke me up Tyme and if it's true and not just a funny story I may have to view you in a slightly different light from now on.

[DJD]

Mark,
Not trying to steal Tymes thread here but you have a great point on strength and it made me think about one afternoon many years ago.
We use to drive around the swamps in Florida (great fun!!) and look for small pigs to try and catch by hand (never caught one but we took some serious nose dives, those things can cut and run..lol) It would look like a Chinese fire drill when we saw one, the truck would stop and the doors would fly open and the race was on! Like I said good times for sure but anyway we had enough oneday and on the way out we saw an Armadillo rooting in a field so I jumped out of the p/u truck and took off after it, after falling down many times I finally caught this thing and I was amazed at how strong it was. I could barely hold it and after it shat on me I learned you should hold it by the tail. Man it was so funny it still brings a smile to my face.

[mhall]

Mark,
Not trying to steal Tymes thread here but you have a great point on strength and it made me think about one afternoon many years ago.
We use to drive around the swamps in Florida (great fun!!) and look for small pigs to try and catch by hand (never caught one but we took some serious nose dives, those things can cut and run..lol) It would look like a Chinese fire drill when we saw one, the truck would stop and the doors would fly open and the race was on! Like I said good times for sure but anyway we had enough oneday and on the way out we saw an Armadillo rooting in a field so I jumped out of the p/u truck and took off after it, after falling down many times I finally caught this thing and I was amazed at how strong it was. I could barely hold it and after it shat on me I learned you should hold it by the tail. Man it was so funny it still brings a smile to my face.

Too funny Don. Wasn't it fun '' Growing up Redneck ". Ah the stuff we use to do for entertainment. Sounds like a new reality show doesn't it...... Growing Up Redneck, I think I'm on to sumpin here.

[Tyme2fish]

Unlike Bill Clinton, I cannot tell a lie.

The post was a C&P from another site.I just wanted to share the humor.
I might be stupid but I ain't no idiot!!!

[DJD]

Too funny Don. Wasn't it fun '' Growing up Redneck ". Ah the stuff we use to do for entertainment. Sounds like a new reality show doesn't it...... Growing Up Redneck, I think I'm on to sumpin here.

Yep you got a good one there. Lets hear a few more stories of what we all did growing up. Don't want to hear any pig squealing stories from you Libs! Sorry about that right there.....

[Tim_T]

A few years ago we were a victim of mailbox baseball and my wife was really upset. I told her no big deal, it was payback from my youth.

When I was about 14 or 15 there was a crotchety old man that lived near us. He would always make comments to us while we were waling downt the atreet. He lived at the end of his street and it litterally ended at his driveway were he had a big cattle gate at the entrance to his driveway. One halloween, we took a chain and a pad lock and locked his gate from the outside....my guess is he was a little late to work the next morning.

[Bobby Headrick]

Growing up redneck, could be a song there, I am a musican Mark, so lets put a tune together and make some MONEY$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$, seriously. We can sell it in Nashville or at least trade it to Casey Ashley for some good baits and rods and such. LOL. Might have to steal your title but will give you credit. But it is a catchy line. Born in the country down in the south had to learn to shoot and to fish to put food in our mouths.la la la la da da da, etc etc.

[Tim_T]

Growing up redneck, could be a song there, I am a musican Mark, so lets put a tune together and make some MONEY$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$, seriously. We can sell it in Nashville or at least trade it to Casey Ashley for some good baits and rods and such. LOL. Might have to steal your title but will give you credit. But it is a catchy line. Born in the country down in the south had to learn to shoot and to fish to put food in our mouths.la la la la da da da, etc etc.

Can it be to the tune of "Play that funky music whiteboy?"
LOL

[Devils Horse]

I don't care where it came from, that is a hilarious story. Definitely falls into that 'heymanwachis' category.

[bassin_bug]

I know a couple of tales about deer and both are true. My cousin, George, was fishing in the Tombigbee river, a transportation waterway, where huge tugboats push barges. Their engines are so powerful (4,200 h/p) they make large wakes and churn the river to the bottom.

George was driving a small, aluminum, flat bottom Cajun boat when he spotted a huge buck swimming across the river. He tied one end of a rope to the boat and the other end around the deer's horns, planning tow it to shore where he would slit its throat with his knife, and dress it after he got home. About the time he got the rope on the deer, a tugboat came by, scared the deer and it jumped into the boat with George. It started slashing at his head with its feet, pawing and tearing the boat to pieces. He knocked George out of the boat, leaving the deer to do the driving.

Finally it jumped overboard, boat in tow, and somehow made it to shore. By then George had also made it to shore but in a different place. He started running down the bank to get the boat, scared the deer again, and it dragged his boat up the bank with it on one side of a tree and the deer on the other side and the rope still tied to both. George was so beaten up by the deer, and tired from swimming in heavy waves that he decided to cut the rope and let the deer go. Every time he got close to the rope the deer charged again. He finally got behind the overturned boat, cut the rope, and went home with nothing to show for his day except a cut up, bruised, battered body, a bent up boat, no fish and no deer.
____________
The other story is about a drunk, a fat buck on the loose, and Mike.

My son, Mike, raised a fawn whose mother was killed by a truck. He got a special permit from the State Wildlife authorities to raise it and it was as tame as a puppy. He fed it well and it grew into a fat, sleek, buck with 12-point antlers; a trophy buck by anyones standards.

One day a neighbor stopped and told Mike that his pet deer had escaped its pen and was grazing down by the road. He took its collar and a rope and walked down there to bring him home.

As he is walking up the side of the road, leading the deer back to the house, a drunk came by and stopped. "Izzat a deer?" he asked. Mike is something of a prankster with a great sense of humor so he said, "No, I was just taking my coon hound out for a walk." The drunk said, "****, I ain't never seen such horns on a dog like that."