Boat and Fishing Definitions:

[HURRICANEBOB]

They might seem like common terminology, but here's how I see it:

1. PROP: When your fishing buddy has drank all your bourbon and most of your beer, this is how you keep him in the front bass seat.
2. JACK PLATE: When the ground is soft in the back yard and the trailer tire is flat, to set the jack so it won't sink in the ground, you go in the kitchen and get momma's Oneida Ware Serving Plater, and put it under the foot of the jack.
3. SINKER: A fishing rod that will not float when your drunk buddy drops it overboard. Applies to rods and reel combos costing $100 or more.
4. BOBBER: a. A beer bottle that will not sink when you throw it overboard to avoid a DUI. b. A Cheap reel that you want the wife to let you replace, that you "accidentally drop overboard" while she's watching, hoping its a "SINKER" so you can get a new one. Reels 10 years old and of original cost of less that $30 fit this definition.
5. PROP WASH: Accomplished by dragging your jeans and tee-shirts on a 5 foot tow line behind a 200 Merc at WOT.
6. WAKE: A wave so big it could kill an Irishman.
7. NO WAKE: A wave that would only make an Irishman angry, without inflicting any longterm or fatal injuries.
8. JUMPS: What happens at a Walmart Store when they announce the Jean Nate After Bath Perfume is on sale for 50% off.
9. DUI: "Dumb, Under-mature, Idiots". People on jet skis or any other high speed craft that gets so close to your boat they spray you with water or run over your planer boards, these guys ought get arrested for being DUI.
10. LOWER UNITS: The things that are found directly below the thing on top that provides the drive, the power, the thrust, and causes the lower units to function. NEVER hit your lower units on rocks, or anything else......
11. FISHIN TRIP: Falling over the trolling motor stored on your deck as you try to get off the boat at the ramp.
12. CAST NET: A weaved article with weights that has been left in the sun so long it takes a shape and can't be made to revert from its now "CASTED" form.
13. SOS: Suds or Se____ For the life of me I don't see why the KDFWR cop thought I needed help, I was just in the middle of getting a houseboat fully of party people and redheads to stop when he wrote me the ticket.
14. PUSH BOAT: Any pontoon boat whose owner fails to clean out the gas tank more than once every 12 years, and has to get the dead dog back on the trailer.
15. TROLLING MOTOR: A small means of electrical propulsion used to catch the trolls that ate the starter out of my 75 Merc.
16. WIFE: The person who hits me when I sneak out to go fishing on our anniversary. When equipped with a frying pan, she becomes an ALE-WIFE.
17. BAIT: Female fishing partners that look like Lonnie Anderson, but are 15 years old.
18. CHUM: A person that finds a drivers liscense that proves your female fishing partner is actually 21 years old. (If caught, see ALE-WIFE)
19. DOCK LINE: What you use when tell a physician that the disease you have came from a source other than your fishing partner so your spouse won't know what happened on the fishing trip. (If not believed, see ALE-WIFE)
20. SKIPJACK SHAD: If your buddies have to chip in for bait, and Jack has no money, then take the other guy who has money to pay for shad.

And to think, there are some people out there who don't know this stuff and are still allowed to operate a boat........scarey......ain't it?

[DJD]

HB,
Good stuff to know. But tell me why Cap-Sizing is that big of a deal? What does the proper size of your hat on your head have to do with anything?

[mhall]

Oh boys he's drinking again, lol.

[HURRICANEBOB]

HB,
Good stuff to know. But tell me why Cap-Sizing is that big of a deal? What does the proper size of your hat on your head have to do with anything?

ITS TRAGICALLY IMPORTANT....With a head and hat as big as mine it makes a difference. With brim forward, I top out WOT ay 15 mph, with brim to the rear, I top out at 18.36 mph at WOT.

And last year in a thunderstorm with 50 mph wind gusts, I had to take my hat off completely to make it back to dock while bucking the head winds......

HEAD WINDS: The movement of air that escapes from an air-head when the ears have been improperly sealed.

[HURRICANEBOB]

Oh boys he's drinking again, lol.

Not again, but still

I am not episodic....I have a more reliable continuity than that.

[CMIDD]

Someone get HB some help. I think he has fallen off the rocker!

[DJD]

ITS TRAGICALLY IMPORTANT....With a head and hat as big as mine it makes a difference. With brim forward, I top out WOT ay 15 mph, with brim to the rear, I top out at 18.36 mph at WOT.

And last year in a thunderstorm with 50 mph wind gusts, I had to take my hat off completely to make it back to dock while bucking the head winds......

HEAD WINDS: The movement of air that escapes from an air-head when the ears have been improperly sealed.

Oh yes, I am familiar with the Head Winds. Now an Ill Wind is something else. I remember that because my buddy who had been drinking the night before was in the front of the boat and every once in awhile I got a *wiff* of an ill wind.