Another "Loan" request from family

[Tyme2fish]

"Lack of planning on your part does not make it an emergency on my part.

While some of my wife's family went on cruises, trips to Las Vegas, etc, and then complained that the government didn't "give" them enough, I wanted to puke. Oh, they still come to me for "carry over loans" because of their lack of planning. It's worth $100.00 to me to not see them for 6 months."

The above was a reply I posted an other post. This morning, one of my wife's brothers called and asked if I could "loan" him $100.00.
If I do give him the money, I won't see him for 6 months. If I don't give him the money, he'll be mad and I won't see him for 6 months.

This is the same B.I.L. that I helped out earlier this month. He had contracted to trim a 100 ft. elm tree and remove the debris. He doesn't own a truck or have any means to fulfill his obligation. He had a son-in-law help him for one day and then the S.I.L decided it was too hard and took his truck and left the job.(little S-10 short bed). B.I.L. was between the rock and a hard place, so the wife and I helped him out with my truck, my trailer, and our labor and completed the job. I used a tank of gas on the job and damaged something in my guts from doing heavy lifting that I'm not used to doing. Me and Manual labor don't get along too well.. My insides feel all better now after 10 days. For my sacrifice I did receive a small amount of the wood that needs to be split and dried for next year.

What should I do?

[Big Gills]

My opinion is dont give him the $100. If you dont give, then they wont ask and have to come up with their own solutions to their own problems. Just cuz you had a very nice job doesnt mean you are not required to support your inlaws. You have been nice to help them so far but it really isnt teaching them to survive on their own. Time to cut the purse strings and for these inlaws to grow up. Good luck with that Tyme.

[DJD]

It's easy to say this since I don't deal with these people as much as you but I say no way no how are they getting money from me anymore. Tough love my man tough love....

[Tim_T]

Tyme, can you float me a loan? LOL, just kidding guy, it sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. My advice would be to do what you feel is the right thing (whatever that may be) and let the chips fall brother.

[Tyme2fish]

The Last Third Bank of Tyme is closed. Last Third Bank of Tyme did not receive any bailout money from Washington,D.C. and has therefore filed for liquidation.

Except for my children, Last Third Bank of Tyme is henceforth closed to any and all persons.

Sorry Tim T, you're out of luck.

[HURRICANEBOB]

Tyme,

Make him come work for it to earn it. If you have chores around the house that needs done, tell him you pay $10.00 an hour (A good handy man would charge ya $40). Let him rake leaves, or do dishes, or knock down cob webs, or run the vaccuum, or mow, wash your truck he used, change the oil in it, or better yet, cut up and stack the firewood he gave you. If he beefs about it, just tell him its simple, you will do for him as much as he does for you and FOR HIMSELF. (nobody rides for free)

Worked for me with a younger brother....who did the work well, got paid.......then moved to the West Coast (read that as too far away to ask me for anymore loans).

Hope it works out for you, it's always more difficult to figure this stuff out when its family, I agree.

[Tyme2fish]

HURRICANEBOB, Good answer. However, as usual, this was an "emergency" request and he needed the money now so he could cover a check he wrote days ago that knew then he didn't have the funds to cover. At $10.00 an hour he didn't have the time to work 10 hours.

Sorry, he can deal with his bank and not the Last Third Bank of Tyme.

[elnutsmalljaws]

Float him the loan with the understanding that he is to come to your house and perform the 10 hours of labor to repay the loan within 14 days of giving him the money. If he does not come within 14 days then the next time explain that we had a business agreement and you never kept your part of the deal so we are no longer doing business. Pretty much the ball is in his court and out of yours. If he shows up in the 14 day time period then let him cut up and bust the firewood, clean out the garage, wash the boat, wash the cars, clean out the gutters, power wash the house, power wash the drive way and put a fresh coat of water seal on it to get ready for winter, etc.... pleny of things to do in 10 hours or send him to my house and he can clean my boat, wash my Explorer and Volvo, power wash my house, clean up the bank next to the creek behind my house......... Good Luck but the best option is cut the cord but that only works if you keep the cord cut EVERYTIME, emergency or not.

[bassin_bug]

At some point you have to make a firm decision and not worry about who's mad at you and who isn't. The only difference is that they hide it while you are handing out the cash; when you don't, they show it. It's all the same when the bottom line is written.

There was a time when I got up at 3:30 am, dressed and drove 65 miles one way to my office. My sorry BIL's were just coming home from all night parties to sleep off hangovers as I was leaving for work. They used every excuse in the book to "borrow" small amounts of money but never paid it back. Finally one came to borrow a few hundred dollars to pay for eyeglasses for his child. He insisted that I write the check to him instead of the doctor, not knowing that I knew the doctor. Next morning I called him and asked if he had seen the child; he said he examined him a year before. I called the bank, stopped payment on the check, then called the BIL and blew up all over him and sent the same message back to the rest of my in-laws, "Don't you ever ask to borrow another dollar from me, not even if you are bleeding to death." Problem solved and they stopped visiting as a bonus. Love it!

[RICHYD4U]

If you keep feeding the animals, they keep coming back for more food IMHO.

-Rich

[mhall]

if you keep feeding the animals, they keep coming back for more food imho.

-rich

b i n g o !