Man, I could cry for you just thinking about your struggle with this for so long...
I was just sitting on the couch last night telling my wife what all you had gone through. She's a nurse and sees a lot of crap everyday, but you've had one hell of a load to carry on those shoulders. It makes a lot of the things the rest of us bitch about seem pretty small and insignificant.
I know they say everything happens for a reason...it just seems awfully hard to find a logical one with stuff like this.
Hang in there, elnut.



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