Tell those that matter

During this time of year I am always reminded of just how important it is to tell your family and friends what they mean to you. I have always struggled with this my whole life. You know that whole tough guy thing not wanting to be mushy and awkward. Well as I have gotten older and lost most of my entire family including my Mother, Father and two of three siblings I realize that was a pretty dumb way to look at it.

While I still struggle with it I now will be more open and I wish I could have done it more with some while they were here. I say all this so that if you to find yourself in this situation don't do what I did and tell them what they mean to. Extending a heart felt loving gesture to someone isn't a sign of weakness or being soft its the exact opposite.

Just some thoughts I felt like sharing sorry for being a Debbie Downer if some view it that way.

[QUOTE=mhall;540727]During this time of year I am always reminded of just how important it is to tell your family and friends what they mean to you. I have always struggled with this my whole life. You know that whole tough guy thing not wanting to be mushy and awkward. Well as I have gotten older and lost most of my entire family including my Mother, Father and two of three siblings I realize that was a pretty dumb way to look at it.

While I still struggle with it I now will be more open and I wish I could have done it more with some while they were here. I say all this so that if you to find yourself in this situation don't do what I did and tell them what they mean to. Extending a heart felt loving gesture to someone isn't a sign of weakness or being soft its the exact opposite.

Just some thoughts I felt like sharing sorry for being a Debbie Downer if some view it that way.[/QUOTE]

Excellent post! I'm guilty of the same stuff. We didn't show or express a lot of feelings growing up. I think it was having a career Navy man as a father and an Asian mother who took no crap. They gave me plenty of rope to hang myself and I did quite often but the "touchy feely" stuff wasn't there as much as with other families.

I raised my older daughter with more of a hands on with my feelings and will do so with my youngest but it's not second nature for me to cuddle up with them....I do work at it and it's awesome.

I never told my dad I loved him until 6 months before he passed. It tore me up because I finally said it but I did it because I knew we would lose him soon. I'm eternally grateful I did it and he knew I did but it wasn't our way. He couldn't bring himself to say it to me but I understood. He cried like a baby when I told him I loved him and his tears and sobbing said to me how much he did....he was a tough man from a tough time.

Good stuff brother. Hope you have a wonderful Merry Christmas and wish you the best in life, your a good dude. :)

[QUOTE=DJD;540732]Excellent post! I'm guilty of the same stuff. We didn't show or express a lot of feelings growing up. I think it was having a career Navy man as a father and an Asian mother who took no crap. They gave me plenty of rope to hang myself and I did quite often but the "touchy feely" stuff wasn't there as much as with other families.

I raised my older daughter with more of a hands on with my feelings and will do so with my youngest but it's not second nature for me to cuddle up with them....I do work at it and it's awesome.

I never told my dad I loved him until 6 months before he passed. It tore me up because I finally said it but I did it because I knew we would lose him soon. I'm eternally grateful I did it and he knew I did but it wasn't our way. He couldn't bring himself to say it to me but I understood. He cried like a baby when I told him I loved him and his tears and sobbing said to me how much he did....he was a tough man from a tough time.

Good stuff brother. Hope you have a wonderful Merry Christmas and wish you the best in life, your a good dude. :)[/QUOT


As you know my Dad was the same as yours, WWII Sea Bee and just like you described. I was the baby of four and as easy ''sometimes'' as my Mom tried to make it for me he counter balanced that BIGTIME. Much later in his life we became somewhat closer and I am grateful for that but I regret many things I should have done with him and didn't.

Good post Don, sharing that was awesome man and it obviously meant very much to him that you told him, he told you to with his tears.

Thank you for the kind words and back at you my friend.


God bless you and your family as well and Merry Christmas.

I've tried a lot harder to keep better in touch / spend time with my 88 year old father,my one sister and 2 surviving brothers,plus my own wife and children,especiially after I had a heart attack because of a 95% blockage in one of my large arteries chasing cows around back in the spring.

My wife thought I was just messing around when I laid down in the field and jokingly said I guess I'm having a heart attack,she said "well get your sorry ass up you ain't dying on me now and leaving me with all this to take care of", little did we know I was actually having a life threatening situation,because I got up and went on.

I watched my Mother die of a massive heart attack in 98' and our family that used to meet for Sunday Dinner and every Holiday and Occasion drifted apart after her death,she was the glue that held us together.

Realizing my mortality has changed my actions and I make every effort to live each day to the fullest.

I got a Christmas card from my Dad's 1st cousin a 99 year old woman who was the 1st County nurse in Pendleton County,she is still sharp of mind but in a nursing home because of a hip injury,yet she writes always concerned about my health,bless her heart.

I've lost 2 brothers,my mother,and many cousins,aunts,uncles,and friends over the years,you just never know when it's your time and letting some little dispute or anything to get in the way of being close to those that are most important in your life is not worth it.

[QUOTE=kyfanatic;540747]I've tried a lot harder to keep better in touch / spend time with my 88 year old father,my one sister and 2 surviving brothers,plus my own wife and children,especiially after I had a heart attack because of a 95% blockage in one of my large arteries chasing cows around back in the spring.

My wife thought I was just messing around when I laid down in the field and jokingly said I guess I'm having a heart attack,she said "well get your sorry ass up you ain't dying on me now and leaving me with all this to take care of", little did we know I was actually having a life threatening situation,because I got up and went on.

I watched my Mother die of a massive heart attack in 98' and our family that used to meet for Sunday Dinner and every Holiday and Occasion drifted apart after her death,she was the glue that held us together.

Realizing my mortality has changed my actions and I make every effort to live each day to the fullest.

I got a Christmas card from my Dad's 1st cousin a 99 year old woman who was the 1st County nurse in Pendleton County,she is still sharp of mind but in a nursing home because of a hip injury,yet she writes always concerned about my health,bless her heart.

I've lost 2 brothers,my mother,and many cousins,aunts,uncles,and friends over the years,you just never know when it's your time and letting some little dispute or anything to get in the way of being close to those that are most important in your life is not worth it.[/QUOTE]

Wise words man. Merry Christmas to you and your family!

[QUOTE=DJD;540752]Wise words man. Merry Christmas to you and your family![/QUOTE]


Merry Christmas to you and everyone else here at Fishin'.com and a Happy New Year as well,may y'all have many more

same here. i never showed what i should because i was too emotional. always tried to be the cool, tuff guy. it is true, when you get older, you do get wiser.

There is some really good stuff in these post, I think we are all guilty to one degree or another and and we need to try and do better.

Thanks for sharing these post

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL

Steve McGahey