McDonald's hamburgers

I've got to comment on an experience we had on our travel to Arkansas.
We stopped at a McDonald's to grab a fast lunch. I know, I know, what a stupid thing to do.


I hadn't eaten a McD burger in years and these "burgers" were absolutely disgusting. I can't begin to describe the texture or taste of these hideous things.


Bread: Bread is a simple concept. Our buns were manufactured from some sort of non-biodegradable substance known only to McD's and possibly some nuclear scientists.


Pickles: How can they screw up a pickle? They did. The pickle could not be bitten in half. It was the whole pickle or none of it.


Diced onions: I believe McD is attempting to recreate the Korean kimchi which is a fermented cabbage buried in the ground. The onions weren't diced, they were minced into some sort of paste that produced an alarming reaction to one's taste buds and tongue.


The pattie: What in the world is that made of? It wasn't any meat or meat by-product that I am familiar with.


I am confident that I can survive the last years of my life without ever again consuming a Mc'D burger.

dyou want frys with that?

[video=youtube;uSFuTIqFIq4]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSFuTIqFIq4[/video]

I think I may have finally digested those burgers. Here's the story.

I'm not sure what I ate, but I'd been "crop dusting" all day. We went to Wal-Mart and I laid down a few clouds there. Then we went to Krogers and the same thing happened. Mrs.Tyme caught just a whiff at both locations and quickly walked away. This evening, Mrs.Tyme and I were vacuum packing the different meats we had purchased at Krogers.

Mrs.Tyme had left the kitchen to fetch something and I let loose another cloud of poisonous gas while she was absent from the hazard area. The aroma was a unique mixture of napalm, pepper spray, and atomized feces containing traces of onions and garlic and a yet unidentified substance that could be used by the military.

To my then horror, she returned before the invisible noxious cloud could dissipate. When she came into the kitchen doorway it appeared to me that the invisible cloud had enveloped her and grabbed her, preventing any escape on her part and that angry bees were attacking her as she flailed her arms about in an attempt to escape the burning, stinging aroma that hit her.

That's when I burst out laughing so hard that another silent eruption escaped from me. Again she was holding her breath but unable to leave the hazard area. The sheer look of horror yet acceptance on her face caused me to laugh harder and harder. I apologized for my transgression all the while laughing my a$$ off. Our marriage vows stated for better or worse and she definitely got the worse from me on this flagrant flatulence on my part.

Ah, the joys of 35 years of marriage.