a little male humor...

over the weekend my daughter was playing a video for my wife, and they we're both getting a good laugh from it, it was making fun of men that get a common cold and they whine and cry like a woman would if they we're giving birth, so when I read this joke, I had to copy it and share with you guys and gals, so here goes hope you enjoy it as much as I did..

{ as a mans Wife starts getting older }


It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.



My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Jean.



When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Jean to get a full-time job, along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.



Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work.



Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not an option in the evening. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.



I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.



Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour.. But, Boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two, or even three days. That way, she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.



When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man.. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.



I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Jean. I'm not saying that showing this much patience & consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, Guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your ageing wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts him.

“Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now.”

He looks at her and says angrily, “Fix the lights now? Does it look like I have a GE logo printed on my forehead? I don’t think so.”

“Fine.” Then the wife asks, “Well then could you fix the fridge door? It won’t close right.”

To which he replied, “Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have ‘Westinghouse’ written on my forehead? I don’t think so.”

“Fine,” she says. “Then at least you could fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break.”

“I’m not a carpenter and I don’t want to fix steps,” he says. “Does it look like I have ‘Ace Hardware’ written on my forehead? I don’t think so. I’ve had enough of you. I’m going to the bar!”

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours. He starts feeling guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home.

As he walks into the house he notices that the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.

“Honey,” he asks, “how did all this get fixed?”

“Ah well, when you left I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake.”

He asked, “So what kind of cake did you bake him?”

She replied, “Helloooo, do you see ‘Betty Crocker’ written on my forehead? I don’t think so.”

[QUOTE=sweetwater;559898]A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts him.

“Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now.”

He looks at her and says angrily, “Fix the lights now? Does it look like I have a GE logo printed on my forehead? I don’t think so.”

“Fine.” Then the wife asks, “Well then could you fix the fridge door? It won’t close right.”

To which he replied, “Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have ‘Westinghouse’ written on my forehead? I don’t think so.”

“Fine,” she says. “Then at least you could fix the steps to the front door? They are about to break.”

“I’m not a carpenter and I don’t want to fix steps,” he says. “Does it look like I have ‘Ace Hardware’ written on my forehead? I don’t think so. I’ve had enough of you. I’m going to the bar!”

So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple of hours. He starts feeling guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home.

As he walks into the house he notices that the steps are already fixed. As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.

“Honey,” he asks, “how did all this get fixed?”

“Ah well, when you left I sat outside and cried. Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him. He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either go to bed with him or bake a cake.”

He asked, “So what kind of cake did you bake him?”

She replied, “Helloooo, do you see ‘Betty Crocker’ written on my forehead? I don’t think so.”[/QUOTE] ha ha ha that was alright...

Sweetwater

I think the problems with wives is they aren't patient enough Like when my wife tells me the light is blinking in the hallway we have two problems first I have to guess that she wants me to fix it but instead of asking me to fix it she just says it's blinking whereas a man would say you need to fix the blinking light this way there can be no miscommunication.The other problem after she lets me know it is blinking it's like she wants it fixed in less than thirty days. This doesn't give a man enough time to research the best way to remedy a blinking light we have to look it up on internet discuss it with the guys at the local watering hole and at work and post the problem on fishin.com then when we are looking for the answer on fishin.com we find out the fishing is hot on Nolin so we have to plan a fishing trip right away to Nolin etc. etc. so you can see a month is a little pushy.

But hey we can't live with out them.

[QUOTE=roadrunner;559931]Sweetwater

I think the problems with wives is they aren't patient enough Like when my wife tells me the light is blinking in the hallway we have two problems first I have to guess that she wants me to fix it but instead of asking me to fix it she just says it's blinking whereas a man would say you need to fix the blinking light this way there can be no miscommunication.The other problem after she lets me know it is blinking it's like she wants it fixed in less than thirty days. This doesn't give a man enough time to research the best way to remedy a blinking light we have to look it up on internet discuss it with the guys at the local watering hole and at work and post the problem on fishin.com then when we are looking for the answer on fishin.com we find out the fishing is hot on Nolin so we have to plan a fishing trip right away to Nolin etc. etc. so you can see a month is a little pushy.

But hey we can't live with out them.[/QUOTE]I guess my hubs is lucky because if he wants to get out of doing something all he has to do is say "Let's go fishing honey"

[QUOTE=sweetwater;559933]I guess my hubs is lucky because if he wants to get out of doing something all he has to do is say "Let's go fishing honey"[/QUOTE]

Yes he is one lucky man and I am going to try that the next time my wive ask me to do something I'm going to tell her I can't do it I'm taking Sweetwater fishing

Last spring note on kitchen table:

"Dobe, good morning. Took the boat to Cumberland. When you get finished painting the bedroom, mowing the lawns and pulling the weeds in the garden, text me pictures of what you did, and I'll tell you what dock I'll pick you up at.

P.S: Your truck pulls to the left when towing the boat, put that on your list for next week."

Hey guys, still alive and kicking[barely]. Speaking about wives, you don't know how much they really do, till their gone. I know buried two and a fiance.The cancer is there, but its a slow acting form.

[QUOTE=kygorski;560040]Hey guys, still alive and kicking[barely]. Speaking about wives, you don't know how much they really do, till their gone. I know buried two and a fiance.The cancer is there, but its a slow acting form.[/QUOTE]

Glad you are still with us and I do count my blessings every day will have been married 50 years this August. Hope you get feeling better and be ready for the spring weather which is just around the corner I hope.

I'm no longer in the 'bluegrass state". live in georgia [hate it], I'm in an atlanta suberb[worlds biggest shopping center].traffic and Aholes.

When are you going to seek treatment and what kind are you opting for? My father had prostrate cancer and did the radiation treatment and lived for another 15 years. Getting cancer is a bitch. Hope you are doing ok.

[QUOTE=kygorski;560040]Hey guys, still alive and kicking[barely]. Speaking about wives, you don't know how much they really do, till their gone. I know buried two and a fiance.The cancer is there, but its a slow acting form.[/QUOTE]

Pancreatic cancer, while surgery is risky option[expensive], radiation is possible, with fair results, I'm opting to for go any treatment.I'm80+ years old, have some other defects, and the quality of life ahead of me isn't worth the effort. My secondary insurance went up 45$ a month, which limits my discreationay funds, so if just passing air is whats left, the heck with it. I've had a great time livingm my worst days were better than some folks good days.