STORM WARNING

Fair warning.......Expect it to rain, hail, with high winds, lightning, and possible severe sea conditions.

Hurricane Bob will be at Cland this upcoming week. To reduce the probability of liability, I provide the following precautionary notices:

a. Outfit cats and small dogs with mini-PDF's, tidal surges may occur.
b. Boats of less than 40 feet ought travel in pairs and not venture far from no wake buoys unless balloon rigs sufficiently far nehind their boats so as to serve as marking buoys shoudl the tow craft do the Nemo routine.
c. Be particularly careful when approaching pontoon boats that appear to be dropping 12 ounce depth charges. Take note none of the 12 ouncers boom cans sink.
d. Do not park RV's closer than 40 feet from the waters edge, unless tied securely to neighboring trees.
e. Use monofilament, and stay clear of pontoons with smiley faces on the rear of one can. Spider conducts electricity, and my pontoon draws lightning. (Good news, I save a lot on a battery charger")

Why am I sure the weather will go south when I get there? Above and beyond the fact it alwaays has before.......
a. The wife is with me, and she gripes when I get here wet, ergo, the Gods will provide ample reason and justification for her to chomp on my ear.
b. I have fished Cumberland 2 times so far this year. The first 2 times the tornado WARNINGS occurred just 10 minutes after the boat hit the trailer on the way out. Fate will not spare me thrice.
c. I have a fishing buddie, and his "never been on Cumberland Wife coming to join us". He gets sea sick if we run over a jet ski wake, and as a first time trip, the lake and weather are sure to take pains to make an impression.
d. I washed my truck. The storm in E-town 20 minutes later blew the neighbors metal shed 75 feet across his yard, missed my boat by inches as it passed up my yard, and came to rest 2.3 feet from the front of my truck. Having therefore consumed all my good luck, this trip holds promise for disaster.

You know when the sun will come out again? Exactly .03 seconds after my first foot steps off the boat and hits the dock enroute to the tow rig. Soaking wet, getting liplocked by an aggravated spouse, and hammer by thunderstuck friends, I'll smile to myself, turn back as I walk to shoot a half witted one-liner in defense, and more than likely trip over a cleat and take a ramp side dip. Not a problem "BOBBLES Bounce".

But other than that, I'm kinda looking forward to the trip, I mean, its easier then painting ain't it?