An honest word from/on "Disabled" Soldiers.

I wrote to thank you all in my last thread, but I wanted to come clean and explain an often misunderstood (although I don't believe on purpose) mis-truth on my "disability" from the Army.
I wrote that I am a disabled veteran, and I am. I am currently have a, but expect it will go up after Mondays Tramatic Brain Injury exam I have, 50% rating from the Army and 80% from the VA. The disability I suffer from is one most people do not really understand yet, its called Post Tramatic Stress Disorder or PTSD. I am not going postal anytime soon, in fact it more often affects us Soldiers just the oppisite. I can only tell you my story, and I will to try and be honest with you all. I suffer from this disease, if you will, and only sleep about 2-3 hours a night, eat in cycles depending on if I remember or not, have no real short-term memory to speak of, cannot drive a car unless I am with someone or on the bluetooth talking to someone, cannot be in large crowds, suffer anxiety attacks for unknown reasons about everyday at some point, ect. The illness is not visable to people and this makes it very hard to understand by most. I got quite a few reply, very kind ones I might add, telling me about handicap access and this and that way to navigate with limited mobility. I do have back problems and other issues, but I felt like I may have mislead you all (and I do not EVER want to do that) about saying I am disabled. I am as honest as the day is long and wanted to explain that, although you cannot "see" some Soldiers injuries, they are sometimes worse than the ones you can see. I personally spent 8 months living in a 8 X 10" office we had in a house we rented when I got back from my umptenth deployment (some I cannot talk about because they are classified, sorry) because I was to scared to come out. I would come out of that room to go to the bathroom, shower (once, maybe twice a week), kiss the kids goodnight, eat once every other day or so, and when my wife would drive me to the shrinks. I could not drive a car at all for over a year and only then with someone. I only recently started by myself, but still use the cell to make it where I go.
Now, why am I telling you all this? To be honest with you and explain what some of us are dealing with. I believe every generation has their war to fight to defend our freedoms and this is mine. I have been asked if I could do it all over again would I? YES, no doubt. I was an Explosives expert and I know I saved numerous lives and the troubles I have are nothing compared to the heartbreak the families would have gone through if I, or any other brave Soldier in our forces, would have pussed out on our duty.
I was put out of the Army in April 2007 with one months notice. I have 4 kids and a wife and my life was a wreck. I am slowly getting better, but I don't know how I managed to get lucky enough to have a partner in life who stuck with my and by my side through all this. We serve a wonderful god is all I can think of. I don't have the money to take up fishing, so I am starting off with what I can muster up from hand me downs and thrift stores, but I am making it work :) I found this site with all the wonderful people who I love reading the posts from, and I just wanted you all to know what MY disability is and not mislead anyone. My wife saved up the money to send me on this fishing trip for my birthday, I think in hopes I would find a way to get outta the house and not be so "depressed" all the time. In turn I found this site, and I could not be happier. I find that I read almost every post each night and look forward to it each day, so thank you all for giving me something to read and learn from.
I apologize for the lengthy nature of the post, but I wanted to get the guilty feeling I got from some of the responses about my "disability" I mentioned (not any of your faults, I just don't wanna feel like I am misrepresenting myself in anyway) off my chest. Thank you all again for your help and kindness!!

Rob

Hope things turn out OK for ya Rob, Thanks for your service to and sacrifice for your country and its citizens. My brother was a Marine in Nam. and he still has some problems also.
Good Luck.

First and foremost thank you for your service to this country!

I believe that what you have is as real as any other type of injury that people can experience. My Grandfather was a B17 Pilot stationed in Sicily and would never go back to Italy or Germany after the war. My aunt lived in Germany and he could not bring himself to visit her there.

I am involved in our local American Legion and do some volunteer work at the VFW, we see men and women coming back all the time that have some issues so just hang in there and know that you are not alone.

Hopefully fishing can bring you some peace, for me there is nothing more relaxing than watching fish blow up on a buzzbait as the sun is breaking the treeline, or watching your line take off when fishing some plastic.

My suggestion would be to find a local club that has low membership fees and join as a non boater, you will have companionship as well as someone to help you improve your fishing knowledge and maybe even your equipment.

Thanks again for your service and protecting the freedom that I enjoy!

Thanks Rob for your service and hope you can get all the treatment you need for your PTSS. Your post was not long at all and welcome to the board my friend. I too get glares from people who see me pull into Handicap parking spots and then get out of my truck. They will sometimes say, hey you don't look handicap.... My reply back to them..."Well you don't look stupid either".... But after 5 back surgeries, I'd gladly trade them my bad back for their good one......

Later dude and keep your chin up soldier.......

Rob,
Hang in there!:) Make sure you post your fishing adventures on here for us and above all thanks for your service. God Bless.

Rob, I want to thank you for your service to our country. With some help maybe you will continue to get better. Fishing really helps me to just escape from my problems. Keep your chin up and good luck fishing

There are a lot of "unseen" costs from service. Your disability is just as real as any other and I wish you all the best in getting through it. There's nothing to feel guilty about. This country owes you a big debt of gratitude for what you have done for us, so I hope that it takes care of you with the treatment that you need for post traumatic...

Please accept my most sincere thanks for your service and the sacrifices that you have made. Hang in there and keep chucking...if you need anything to help you wet a line, let us know...fishing can be good therapy!

Thank you for your service, and the great sacrifices you've made for this country. And also for talking about your PTSD. I'm sure that's difficult to do. There's no need for the quotes around the word "disabled;" your disability is as real as any.

In your previous post, you mentioned that you'd be bank-fishing. In the Louisville area, if going for panfish with light tackle sounds like fun (I have a blast doing it), then you've got to check out Fisherman Park pond #2 in J'Town (I think it's #2, not positive on that one), plus the FishingInNeigborhoodS (FINS) ponds, Miles Park pond #4 (the park is right across Shelbyville Rd. from Valhalla Golf Course, in Middletown), and Tom Wallace Lake in Fairdale. All three of those ponds will be stocked with trout soon, plus the two at KDFWR headquarters in Frankfort, and even before then, at Miles and Tom Wallace anyway, you can catch the occasional survivor from the Fall stocking (Fisherman's is only stocked in Spring, and they're all caught or dead by summer's end). They also have the standard bass/bluegill/channel catfish populations in place. All three get pretty popular for a couple weeks right after they're stocked, but the rest of the time they're pretty peaceful, especially early on weekday mornings.

I've bought a lot of tackle at flea markets over the years, and if you keep looking, you can find some decent tackle dirt cheap. The flea market on 7th St., just north of Berry Blvd., is one where I've found some good deals, as well as the one in Simpsonville, just north of I-65. Both are only open on weekends. I once found a Berkley Lightning Rod with a workable Zebco reel at the Simpsonville one for $15. And there's always Wally World. I check there and at Meijer on a regular basis, looking for clearance items. And last, but not least, don't forget Big Lots. They usually don't have squat, but on those rare occasions that they have fishing equipment, you can't beat the price.

Best of luck with your continued recovery. It's great that you've found some peace through fishing, and I hope that continues for you. You've got a real "keeper" of a wife there, and I know that's critical in your situation. My hat's off to her. And I want you to know that even though I myself did not serve in the military, I recognize that the only reason I had a choice in the matter is because of you, and people like you. I owe my freedom to you and your comrades, and for that I am eternally grateful. If there's ever anything at all I can do to help you in any way at all, just say the word and you shall have it.