You seen my truck?

I know I parked it close to the house. Been snowing all day here. I should have taken the old lady's advice and bought that red one. About 10 o'clock tonight, thought I'd go get another bottle of burbon. Grabbed my truck keys and watched the last of the weather report before deciding to give it a whirl. Walked outside and the snow was blowing sideways. Couldn't hardly see the end of my nose till about 2 inches of snow piled up on it. Glasses got all fogged then frosted up. So I sees this big blob of snow and just figure that must be my truck drifted up in a snow bank. When I get to it, I can't find the door, so I keep looking around. Well I figured out what was up right about the time I slipped on the ice and hit my forehead on an 18 inch stainless prop. Actually I figured it about about 5 minutes later when I regained consciousness. Wiped the blood out of my eyes and figure out this particular pile of snow was my boat. Blood was dripping pretty good, but I figured as bad as it was snowing, that wasn't all bad. I mean if it got worse and turned to a full scale blizzard, I figured I could follow them red spots back to the boat and get under the mooring cover for shelter. Wondered around about another hour in the front yard, side yard, and back yard. I found my shed, and the garbage cans, and my mail box. I even found the neighbors dog. Seems he'd been trying to lick the last of his canned dog food out of the chrome feed bowl his owner bought him, got his tongue frozen to it, and then got his head stuck in the picket fence when he was trying to pry the bowl off. I figure his feet froze to the ground next. If it hadn't been for that little tip of tail sticking up, I'd have never thought to try to uncover him. I really thought that thing sticking up was the radio antenna on my truck.

Weather man says it'll be about 50 degress come around Wednesday this week. So till then, I'll just call in sick, till the sun comes out and melts enough of this stuff for me to find my truck. It's out there somewhere. I mean its got to show up soon, its a White Ford E-150 van, so at the worst I ought to have it back by spring. Good news is my neighbor saw me in his back yard, and was so grateful for finding his dog, that he took me in his 4X4 to get more burbon. So, I'll just sit here by the fire till the sun brings my truck back, and hope the sun gets here before the bottom of the Maker's Mark bottle does.

Hey, you got any pretzels? Can ya fax a couple to me?

The most important thing is you got more Maker's Mark. Now it's "No worries,Mate."
Great post Bob. We've missed your tales of woe.

Good one Bob.
Thanks & Good Fishing,
Gary