Guist, Old Man, Right Hook, State Trooper..

All right fellas for all that want to know, here is the BLOW BY BLOW of todays events.

Fishing can be summed up in 4 words: Guist Creek Lake Stinks, 42-47 degree water that had a nice Double Chocolate Milk hue to it pretty much sums up a whole lot of Fishing and Little bit of Catching, with LITTLE being the key word on the catching. Ran to a few pockets before the sun came up to test the water temps and clarity. Temps varied from 42-43 on the main lake to upwards to 47 on the pockets on the North side of the lake, I guess it is the north side, the side of the lake exactly opposite of the dam and on the same side as the ramp if this helps. We started on a bank back towards the dam and I was of course throwing the Fly, just to say I caught one on it and boy did I ever. Within the first 30 minutes or so I had boated a couple of MONSTERS. Now to exactly describe these MONSTERS is that we think??? they were Crappie but you know when a fish gets SO LARGE (or is it SO SMALL) that you can't really make out which species it is but we did count 2 eyes and per my wife's scoring system they did have 2 eyes apiece so they each counted as 1. The bigger of the 2 was a good 3 1/2 inches long with the runt being just over 3, that is inches not pounds. But I did see my bobber go under twice and I did set the hook and did fight both of them expertly, even had to work one of them around the trolling motor for he was stripping drag. If it was not for John getting on the trolling motor and turning us around to let me gain some line back, she would have had me to my knot and we would have lost this MONSTER 3 1/2 inch Crappie??? (you can quit laughing now for I made up the part about the fight, actually I set the hook on the first one and thought I had a small stick but I did tail walk her all the way to the boat like a professional in training would do and swung her in nicely taking into consideration that I had 8lb Firline main line and 6lb leader). That was all the catching for the day and the rest is all fishing. We graphed a HUGE amount of fish in this one particular pocket that had the warmest water. They were suspending from 6-10 feet over 25 feet deep water. We literally threw everything from the fly to a jigging spoon and all in between to no results. I had one good hit on a Norman Deep Little N, Tropical Shad Color, set the hook and cranked a few times before she spit it. John saw the water swirl behind the crankbait but we never saw the fish, could have been a hybrid or a Green Carp. When the brightest spinnerbait or crankbait can't be seen 6 inches below the surface I surely must have snagged this fish on the retrieve. Every time I retie, I throw the baits in this one particular spot in my boat. When I got home, I counted 14 different crankbaits, 3 different jerkbaits, 4 different jigs, 2 spinnerbaits, not counting the 8-10 different plastics that I tried on a C Rig or T Rig. Found some "Ledges" if you can call them that, marked them with bouys and fished them with all to no avail. I can only really varify that I got 3 bites all day. John tried a bunch of jigs, spinnerbaits, shaky heads, crankbaits, C Rig, T Rig just like me from the back and we probably soaked a good 30 or so different lures or plastics trying to find anything that worked. Never saw another boater land a fish and if they did, they are better than us. We literally fished North, South, East and West on the lake from the Dam to the back pocket on the left to under the bridge to the West and places in between. Main lake "Ledges", points, mud banks, deeper banks...... Put her on the trail around 3pm and headed for the house. Good luck to anyone fishing this mud pond for today was the first time on this water in over 3 years for me and it took just about 1 hour for me to realize why I did not fish it in the past even though I worked in Shelbyville for 2 1/2 years after I bought my boat. Hated it then and Hate it now. Unless I get a notorized signed statement that the fish are literally jumping in the boat, then I don't see me fishing here again for a long while. Really tough on me going from Dale Hollow where I can see a 1/16 oz Fnf jig a good 6-8 feet down to not seeing a Chartr and White Norman DD22 6 inches under water. Have a good time on Guist and you can count me as one of those guys you will NOT be competing against for water time on this lake.

I know you are asking where do the Trooper, Old Man, Right Hook and girls come into play.....I leave Guist and head off to the Wady exit to hit 64 and come back to Georgetown. I stop at the Flying J to get a sandwich and pull off to the side out of the way to talk to my Dad before going in. I was on the phone a good 15 minutes of so and was not paying any attention around me except for the 4 girls sitting on the tailgait of the truck a few spaces over from me. I get off the phone and get out of my Explorer to walk inside and I hear someone say something about a boat. I look around and some guy has pulled right up next to my prop and was running his mouth about my boat. I thought something was wrong so I walk to the back of my boat and he tells me that if I don't move my boat then I will have slashed tires when I come back out. He said a few more words that would be beeped out here. I told him to back up and pull around me for I am in the corner off to the side and he was an idiot for pulling that close to me. There was a good 100 yards on one side of me and another 100 yards behind him to do whatever. I kept walking towards his truck and I am not a happy camper and tell him that if he touches my property then it will be his ASS, plus a few more beeped out words from me. He jumps out of his truck and I am within a couple of feet of him, reaches in his pants pocket with his right hand and pulls out a pocket knife. He takes his left hand over to his right to try to open it but he never got a chance for my right hook caught him squarely on his left side of his chin, a bit of his mouth, a bit of his nose and a bit of his cheek. Mind you, I have been sick for a long time but my health is returning rapidly. This guy was about 65 years old, 5'7" and 140 pounds soaking wet, I am 6'1", 40 years old, 352 pounds butt naked. Sort of a miss match especially when he is looking down to open the knife and never saw the shot coming. Sweet dreams my sweet prince for this old fart hit the ground knocked cold like a rock. The girls next to me screamed and one of them ran inside. I backed off the guy and never checked on him at all. Out comes a State Trooper that was dining inside and asked what was wrong as he was checking out Old Cooter and called for an Ambulance. I told him exactly what happened and all of the girls said the exact same thing. Said I was walking away, the old man started running his mouth, pulled a knife and then took a nap against his will. The old man comes back to earth and wakes up and tells the officer that he wants me arrested for hitting him. The officer asked him why did I hit him and he said he did not know. The officer asked him if he pulled a knife on me and he said NO. The officer then asked him whose knife was that laying on the ground beside him and he said it was his. So the officer said "You mean this guy hit for no reason so hard that you pocket knife jumped out of you blue jean pants pocket on its own". The old man started backtracking his story when the cop said all 4 girls saw it happen, heard it happen and he was the instigator, pulled the knife and then was knocked cold. The officer asked me if I wanted to press charges against him for pulling the knife to which I said no but if he touches my property then he will get some more of what he got. The officer took the guys information and wrote him a warning stating that if any of my property is damaged then he will be knocking on his door first. We never exchanged names and I don't have a clue who this old fart is but he went 64 west towards Louisville and I came to Georgetown. After the old man left, me and the State Trooper was talking and laughing about the situation. The State Trooper said he sees things like this at least a couple of times a week. I laughed but my right hand is already swollen a bit and hurting like crazy. My guess is this Old Geezer will be sucking his Oatmeal thru a Straw plus sucking down plenty of Ensure or whatever else he can drink for chewing will be an issue for him for the next couple of weeks. I never claim to be the baddest cat around and have one motto that I live by and my son will to, "I don't start them but will do my damndest to finish them, a fight is a fight and if that means shots to the neck, groin, outside of the knee or bridge of the nose, then that is what will happen". I bet the next time this Old Geezer wants to bad mouth someone, my sweet pretty face will appear in his memory for a long time to come. He got exactly what he deserved. I am still trying to figure out how he will tell his 65 year old wife or girlfriend how his face was so swollen and hurting. Surely he will not tell her that he tried to whip a man half his age and over twice his size with an "Old Timer" pocket knife. I want to be a fly on the wall and hear what she has to say about that right before she tells him to get his own ice pack, MORAN.... Stay away from Guist Creek until the water warms up, clears up or if you must then take your fish shocking equipment or TNT. You might also want to stay away from the Flying J, unless you are looking to join "Fight Club" for the first rule of "Fight Club" is we don't talk about Fight Club....

So the biggest hit of the day, came at the Flying J. Wow what a trip.

Lady's and gentlemen,boys and girls, children of all ages, welcome to the GGGGRRRRAAANNNND palace ring of the flying fishhook for the next title match. ARE YOU READY,.... I said fishin.com... AAARRREE YYOOOUU RREEAAADDDYY? For the ten truck drivers in attendance and the rest of us wishing we were there, LLLEETTTSS GGEETTT RREEAADDYYY TTOOO RUMBLLLLEEEE!!!In the red corner weighing 106 lbs he hails from somewhere in Jerkwater Ky MMMMMOOOORRROOOONNNNNNNN BOATER.... BOATER. In the blue corner, weighing a 352 fighting pounds,still pissed about wasting time in the craphole called Guist creek, where the men are men and the women are glad of it, He hails from the metropolis of scott co, the mecca of big nuts, WWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOODDDDDYYY NNNNUUUUUUTTTTSSSSSSSS..................NUTS. God elnuts, let you go fishin 1 time and you have some old man trying to punk you out. You need to gain some weight back. Since you lost a bunch, people are alreadt trying to pull the power play on you!

[QUOTE=dc chopper;319537]Lady's and gentlemen,boys and girls, children of all ages, welcome to the GGGGRRRRAAANNNND palace ring of the flying fishhook for the next title match. ARE YOU READY,.... I said fishin.com... AAARRREE YYOOOUU RREEAAADDDYY? For the ten truck drivers in attendance and the rest of us wishing we were there, LLLEETTTSS GGEETTT RREEAADDYYY TTOOO RUMBLLLLEEEE!!!In the red corner weighing 106 lbs he hails from somewhere in Jerkwater Ky MMMMMOOOORRROOOONNNNNNNN BOATER.... BOATER. In the blue corner, weighing a 352 fighting pounds,still pissed about wasting time in the craphole called Guist creek, where the men are men and the women are glad of it, He hails from the metropolis of scott co, the mecca of big nuts, WWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOODDDDDYYY NNNNUUUUUUTTTTSSSSSSSS..................NUTS. God elnuts, let you go fishin 1 time and you have some old man trying to punk you out. You need to gain some weight back. Since you lost a bunch, people are alreadt trying to pull the power play on you![/QUOTE]



My 352 is still jiggling from my laughter. People have been trying to pull the power play on me for YEARS (It must be my charm, good looks and personality that makes me a LUSH, wait a minute I don't have any charm, personality or good looks). There was the guy in the Cincinnati Bass Pro Shop Parking Lot that let his girlfriend write a check that his ASS cashed about 3 years ago, the 3 count them 3 completely drunk Tennessee fans at the Rack Club the night that Ron Mercer got checked at half court and just about got his head taken off around 1996 or so, these 3 were all arrested for Public Intoxication - 2 immediately off to jail with busted lips and 1 took a trip to the hospital first for his Gonads were somewhere up around his left lung and the last I saw of him was when he was Puking before he hit the floor after another of my right hooks found its way to his gonadial area as he was leaning against a speaker getting up from I think it was my left hook that time, 3 of them completely drunk, 1 of me sober, they started it, I took a few punches but they got the worst of it as well (the cops were joking to each other asking how many Tennessee fans does it take to whip a Wildcat fans Ass, and the punchline was evidentaly more than 3), there was the guy at Keeneland that wanted to call the cops and I told him "We can give a reason to call them and he had better hope they show up quick to pull my big ass off of him", Mr. Henson remembers that one, then there was another guy at Keeneland that decided to change the TV set to Oaklawn as they were coming down the stretch at Keeneland and my horse was leading again Mr. Henson was present, My very own father (drunk at the time) decided to disrespect my wife to her face and mine when I was 22 and after he hit me 3 times and I still told him that I did not want to fight him after the 4th punch I took, he took a trip to the hospital for some medical care (funny how liquor makes you braver and stupider than you are in sober life), the fight outside my work when I was in College for 2 guys were breaking into my friends car and we caught them in the act, 2 on 2, my half of a pool cue upside one of the guys head and his skin peeled like an orange ended that battle with them leaving the scene in a bloody heap, All those in high school including when I was a Freshman and I got my butt kicked by a Senior for I had whipped his little brother's butt on the school bus that morning. I lost the fight but he did have a black eye and busted lip and never bothered me again. I have always been a big person, as a kid and as a grown up. People are not nice in this world and I have heard my share of comments about my size. Funny thing is that when you put these idiots to the test and don't back down from them, they shut up pretty quick. I have lost my share of fights but have certainly won many more. With us having adopted our little boy from Katmandu Nepal, he will certainly take his share of idiots saying things to him. He is already the toughest 4 year old I have ever seen, we fight and wrestle all the time. He can hold up his own body weight for several minutes and I plan to teach him the very simple rule, "Don't start it, but make **** sure you finish it. You don't fight to just fight, you fight to win and win means by all cost necessary". I can't wait until some MORAN says the wrong thing to Joshua when he is about 7 and Josh puts him in his place which will be on his ASS. He will not start it for my 352 will be on his ASS but he **** will sure finish it. I have no problem in spending days, weeks, months at school in parent teacher principal conferences. I have a 17 year old special needs daughter and a 4 year old adopted son and I don't see either of them any different. The world is a cruel place at times if you don't "fit the norm" but society needs to understand the "norm" is changing every day. I see a lot of children these days that are obviously not biological to their parents plus I see more and more special needs children being born and we all must learn to live together. This 65 year old Geezer maybe has ran his mouth for years and years but today he ran into the wrong person at the wrong time. He will defineately thing twice the next time. I will help anybody out at anytime (except for my ex wife) but screw me over and I will be your worst enemy forever for I never forgive and I never forget. I am sure many will find a fault in this but for all the guys on here that I have shared information on the open post, you will also find many that send me private messages or emails that I have returned EXTENSIVE DETAILED information. By the way a PM can not be longer than 6000 characters, how do I know, I have sent many Detailed responses that I had to trim down to 6000 to send. Need a helping hand and I will do all I can, disrespect me or even worse my wife or kids and it will be your ass.

Glad you got a big hit in Elnut, I bet it was a site to see when the guy went flying. But you did what you had to do and that was protect your property and your own butt. Enjoyed the stories, had me rolling for a while for sure.....:D Hopefully your upcoming fishing trips will be a little better and you can catch something worth braggin about.....

Congrats on the returning health and the big strike

Woody it must be something in the air up there. I twice have experienced crazy people at that place. I stop there on my way to Cumberland and buy my gas. On two different occasions I've had women go nuclear on me for taking up two pumps at that station. Both times I explained to these idiot broads that I was filling the boat and the truck at the same time, DUHHHHH. They both still raised cane until I left, what do you do, LOL.

Redneck!

Chill out Elwood and quit beating up on us old men....lol.

[QUOTE=DaveStewart;319554]Chill out Elwood and quit beating up on us old men....lol.[/QUOTE]


Hang on Dave, I have not took a swing at you yet, but whip out that pocket knife or leatherman and will become even more acquainted than we already are. I promise the only "Hooks" that I use when we go out in May will be Gamakatsu. Looking forward to Ky and Barkley in April and May even more for I know there are Green Carp swimming in these waters for I have seen them and caught them. Only heard of Green Carp that are caught out of Guist and I am beginning to think the fellas that tell these STORIES are LIARS.

[QUOTE=redneckshadrap;319553]Redneck![/QUOTE]


That is "352 and shrinking, greatest FNF fisherman that ever lived for I can catch 3 inch Crappie in 42 degree Chocolate Milk REDNECK" to you Billy. Or as Cliff said a week ago Saturday night after RangerRick from Ohio went to his suitcase and whipped out some of my post from Fishin.com about FNF, "I must be fishing with a LEGEND". Either one is fine with me Billy, "352 AND SHRINKING GREATEST FNF FISHERMAN THAT EVER LIVED" OR "LEGEND", I will now answer to either of these just for Redneckshadrap.

[QUOTE=mhall;319551]Woody it must be something in the air up there. I twice have experienced crazy people at that place. I stop there on my way to Cumberland and buy my gas. On two different occasions I've had women go nuclear on me for taking up two pumps at that station. Both times I explained to these idiot broads that I was filling the boat and the truck at the same time, DUHHHHH. They both still raised cane until I left, what do you do, LOL.[/QUOTE]

As Mr. Henson says, "You either shoot them or want to shoot them". Whip out that 10 foot FNF rod and give her one good smack on the rear. One of 2 things will happen, she will either shut up for she just got the Fisherman version of a "Switching" get in her car and drive away or she will break out a big fat smile, call you "Big Poppa" and ask for some more. Either way the "Nuclear" will stop and the fun will begin.