Ralph the hen

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping
>wife, and fell into a deep slumber.
>He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in
>your sleep, Ralph..'
>Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to
>live for. Send me back!'
>St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go
>back, and that is as a chicken.'
>Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm
>near his home.. The next thing he knew, he was covered with
>feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled
>past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'
>'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling
>inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
>'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've
>never laid an egg before?' 'Never,' said Ralph.
>'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
>Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
>Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He
>soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
>As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of
>his head, and heard his wife yell.....
>'Ralph! Wake up! Your crapping the bed!'