Mustard-Mustard (Funny)

This is a true story, sent to me by a friend who shall remain nameless. If you have children you will probably relate to this father.

As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce, juicy tomato, and plenty of expensive, light brown, Gourmet Mustard.
The corners of my jaws aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands, but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

"Here, hold Johnny (our six week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers...
I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off.
It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster.
It was the first and only time I had sprinted with my tongue protruding out.
With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do,
only I did it to my tongue.
Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard Poupon."

YUCK!!:eek: and I know exactly how that looked...

Oh that's to funny Bug.......And I used to like mustard lol...

[QUOTE=DJD;379130]YUCK!!:eek: and I know exactly how that looked...[/QUOTE]

I noticed in your avatar that you have your finger close to your mouth. lol

That was just too good for me to overlook. Now I'll have to watch my back for an oncoming dirty diaper.

Lord forgive me and feed all the hungry little children in New Guinea. Amen

[QUOTE=bassin_bug;379143]I noticed in your avatar that you have your finger close to your mouth. lol

That was just too good for me to overlook. Now I'll have to watch my back for an oncoming dirty diaper.

Lord forgive me and feed all the hungry little children in New Guinea. Amen[/QUOTE]

LOL! That is true...

Well thanks bug now I can wipe (no pun intended) ham sandwiches off my menu.

[QUOTE=roadrunner;379251]Well thanks bug now I can wipe (no pun intended) ham sandwiches off my menu.[/QUOTE]

Just watch out for baby boys and Poupon.
Did you know those little guys also have a faucet hidden under their diaper that will give you a surprise face washing?

My wife found out with our son about the faucet but it made a big arc and ended up in her coffee cup.

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