Time to fix Elnutsmalljaws....

500 days in the hospital, 27 surgeries, 2 weeks ago on Dec 3 I was in the middle of my 3rd day prefishing so that Catchemall and I could defend our Horse Creek Marina Billy Westmoreland Invitational Title and after putting 22 in the boat on Thursday and then found some bigger fish Friday morning the hopes were high. 11am and I am off the water with major pain in my left side of my abdominal area, sat at the cabin for an hour debating as to what the heck it was but it just kept swelling, down to Celina Hospital and less than a couple hours later I am being air vac lifted out on a helicopter ride to UK Hospital for Emergency Surgery due to a major absess in my abdomin. Arrive at UK, sent to the ER for a few minutes, kissed the wife and son, then off to surgery. Massive abssess that had almost a gallon of infected stuff came out when he cut me open. 8 days in the hospital and now I have been home for 9. Big change from what was planned since my buddy has a cabin rented all month long and I plan on fishing every day of the month except for the 25th and 26th, plus going to take my 7 yr old son and wife out for their first FNF morning on the 23rd and 24th for a few hours to fish THE HONEY HOLE, THE HONEY HOLE THAT WON THE BILLY LAST YEAR, THE HONEY HOLE THAT GIVES THEM UP EVERY SINGLE MORNING - just ask anyone that has fished with me. I could not wait to see my boy in hand to hand combat with a 10' All Pro FNF rod with a 5lb Brownfish on the other end and let him battle it all by himself to see what he's got. Planning this month for a couple of months. Took clothing, food, pots, pans, towels basically you name it took a LOAD down on the 1st to last the whole month for I did not plan on coming home except for 2 days.......BUT MY BODY LET ME DOWN AGAIN......

Now I am sitting here in the house in my best friend, my recliner, watching the TV staying up all night sleeping all day, taking harsh antibiotics to try and keep the pseudomoneous and MRSA under control. Literally had the shades closed and never looked outside since last week after I came home from the 8 day hospital stay. Today I at least opened the curtains, did 3 loads of laundry, cooked a pot of soup beans and made some cornbread for supper, ran the sweeper, folded 3 loads of clothes and put them away. Most I have done in a while and putting up a stand against the depression that I am in. I have decided that I am not in a depressive state anymore but need some help.

Any help with helping me get out of my depressive state is most appreciated?

When there were a few threads going about BigPoppy's troubles, someone posted a great quote: "Life's not about waiting for the storms to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain."

You have a wonderful wife, and are watching your beautiful son grow up. I don't know you well enough to sit here and count your blessings for you, but you have been open enough about your life that I know you have things to be joyful for. Try to focus on those. I know it's raining really hard right now, but try to keep dancin', brother.

Very good quote that I will have to remember. My problem is that I can handle the physical part. Hell as much as I have been carved on the incisions, needles and everything else that they do to me does not even matter. My Blood Pressure does not even raise a tick when they wheel me to the Operating Room and the nurses make comments about it each and everytime. The problem this time is I have focused and waited for December to get here because my buddy 3sons and I plus a few others from time to time would be fishing EVERY day at Dale Hollow. Catchemall and I would be defending our Billy Westmoreland title the first weekend of December, we had 22 fish on Thursday by the way with several good quality unders and then found bigger fish on Friday prefishing plus with the forecast my confidence was extremely high that we had just as good a shot as any. Then the pain gets worse and worse Friday, off the water at 11am, Hospital an hour later, then helicopter ride, emergency surgery, incision that is 6 inches deep and 8 inches wide, and that is the end of the month long fishing trip. Literally I was going to be FNF fishing Dale Hollow EVERY day in December except for the 25th and 26th when I would be home for Xmas. All the months of planning, thought, the fact that I had on fished for 90 minutes ALL YEAR LONG, literally packed food, clothes and everything else for the month and put it in the cabin, all taken away in a heartbeat.

I have had 27 surgeries, Right lung collapsed twice, left lung collapsed once, Psuedomoneous Staff Infection since 2008, now MRSA, 3 bouts of internal bleeding, kidney stones, gall stones, wound vacs that have gotten infected each of the 6 previous times I have had them (knock on wood this one is doing well), wounds after surgeries have gotten infected every time except twice, 500 days in the hospital, probably 50 trips to the ER and that is being conservative and not telling what I have forgotten over the past 5 years. That is a lot of storms to learn to dance thru and you dance and dance until you get tired of dancing.

Hi Elnut, I am not surprised you are feeling down and out. Who wouldnt if they have gone through what you have gone through. You are the strongest person I have ever known to go through all the pain and suffering you have. You have to be strong and a survivor to do that. But there is nothing worse in the world than physical pain. I have been through alot of emotional pain but when my back goes out and I scream in pain to get out of bed and have to lay in bed for a week. I get very depressed. I think you should give some thought to trying anti-depressants. They will give you the extra help you need to get through the hard times. It will take 3-4 weeks to feel the results but you will feel better. It will help you to deal with the pain and your situation better. The best part is that you will feel mentally better. Also the chores you did around the house are a good idea to keep busy. It is time to think of another hobby you can do indoors like woodworking to keep your mind off your pain. Just some thoughts I had. Margie

Wow, you really did have this month full of some pretty awesome plans. I hate it for you that your health has affected those plans, again. "Each plan is prayer to Father Time." The bright side to that is that you are still living, still watching your son grow, still able to appreciate and love your wife like every good woman needs, and still able to count all the blessings in your life that I don't know of.

Elwood, you can't get this month, with all its plans and possible glories, back. Let that go. The last few years have been incredibly tough on you...and it has worn you down, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You find yourself asking things like "why me", or "what's next". Each post you make echoes that sentiment and details the curvy path you've endured. And now you are back at square one...

Each time you think about where you "should" be right now, look around at your family and friends and thank God you are still alive. From the way it sounds, you EASILY could be a memory from all these complications.

Each time you get a bill or another spill from sawbones and ask yourself "why me?"...immediately force yourself to think about how thankful you are that you live in a country where you can be treated...even though the medical field can leave us damaged and make us feel unimportant, it is better than what most of the world has to offer.

You have to take control of your emotions and your reactions...the best way is to force yourself to think about the positive things when your mind dwindles to the negative. Trust me, you really have to "force" it at first. It has to be a routine, if not a regimen. You have to reshape your thought process and become thankful, joyous for what you have...not bitter about what you have not. It takes a lot of practice.

Its more than "thinking positive..." its just not that simple when its your life and the struggles are so tough sometimes. But after practice and some time spent reshaping your thoughts and reactions away from negative details and disappointment and instead focusing your energy and time on the things you have to be thankful for and the joys they bring you, you will begin to see life differently. Even through your own circumstances.

Hang in there Elwood. Take the focus off what is wrong, and shine it on what is right. Email me if you need anything.

Elnut from your post I think you are getting better. You know if anyone on here had a magic wand we would heal you. Since your body won't let you fish I think (and this may be greedy on my part) but you should use your vast knowledge of fishing and write articles and post your thought here. We will get a good deal from your wonderful post or articles.

You could also do research and post on this and other boards. You can use your network of fishermen to get the info on new baits, lines etc. etc.

You have a great mind share it with us we will all be better off.

beep beep

Last year I was diagnosed with cancer, scared the crap out of me to say the least. It was prostate cancer so I think wow not too many guys die from that cept my Dear old Dad. Well I had planned on Dale for 4 months had my pennies saved up was gonna call and make my reservations at Horse Creek and Boom this crap shows up . well no trip, surgery instead. As I am healing up I start to read the posts by my buddy I have never met about The Billie Classic , swinging that fly. man oh man you talk about living thru someone elses good time. You Sir made my bad days a helluva of lot better. Now if your memory is near as good as I suspect it is you could relate prior trips that I guarantee someone has not read. It also might help pass the time until you can hit it again which I am Positive you will do.

Now start the typing Bucko cause I still can't go and would love to read some more

Hopefully, my delivery will help out out............Let me know how you like it.

Later,

Geo

[QUOTE=stratosjoe;435853]Last year I was diagnosed with cancer, scared the crap out of me to say the least. It was prostate cancer so I think wow not too many guys die from that cept my Dear old Dad. Well I had planned on Dale for 4 months had my pennies saved up was gonna call and make my reservations at Horse Creek and Boom this crap shows up . well no trip, surgery instead. As I am healing up I start to read the posts by my buddy I have never met about The Billie Classic , swinging that fly. man oh man you talk about living thru someone elses good time. You Sir made my bad days a helluva of lot better. Now if your memory is near as good as I suspect it is you could relate prior trips that I guarantee someone has not read. It also might help pass the time until you can hit it again which I am Positive you will do.

Now start the typing Bucko cause I still can't go and would love to read some more[/QUOTE]

I didn't know but am happy to hear your getting better man! :)