Close to the Truth

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.
This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get the money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition TV set, thus
stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your
stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka..

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India, Taiwan, or China...

* If you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala...

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea...

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and
they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer, or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer
all day!

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

Regarding #3, can I tell my wife you gave me permission?

Bob's response to #3: If I did that, and the wife finds out, I'd stimulate the local economy via the closest emergency ward. Hopefully I'll have an American doctor.

:-)

[QUOTE=HURRICANEBOB;462970]Regarding #3, can I tell my wife you gave me permission?

Bob's response to #3: If I did that, and the wife finds out, I'd stimulate the local economy via the closest emergency ward. Hopefully I'll have an American doctor. :-)[/QUOTE]


Yes, tell her because I know how women think. lol

What does it mean when you are in your wife's bed gasping for breath and calling her name? She didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Your wife's prayer may go something like this:
'Lord I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.' AMEN

[QUOTE=bassin_bug;463064]Yes, tell her because I know how women think. lol

What does it mean when you are in your wife's bed gasping for breath and calling her name? She didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Your wife's prayer may go something like this:
'Lord I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.' AMEN[/QUOTE]

LOL, Not bad Miss Bug, not bad at all.......

[QUOTE=bassin_bug;463064]Yes, tell her because I know how women think. lol

What does it mean when you are in your wife's bed gasping for breath and calling her name? She didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

[/QUOTE]

And you were offended by a recent post which may have had links to "porn sites". :confused::confused: