***** Watching Family and Friends Die Off

Sorry about a downer thread,but this is what's on my mind right now,the older I get,the more I despise watching my family and friends die.Whether they are in a better place or not,I'm a selfish person and would rather they were still in this world in my life.
Being the youngest of 5 brothers and 1 sister I have endured losing one brother in Vietnam,and one more changed forever by that war.When the one that survived returned we bonded through hunting and fishing more than I did with the others,even though he was the oldest and myself the youngest.
Lost my Mom in 98',then lost my oldest brother in 2005 (he bought me my first gun and rabbit dog)and it was hard on me.Now my sister has breast cancer and is in a bad way,My father is 84 and slowly going downhill,which is painful to watch.The topper I learned this morning was my longtime friend who lived up the hollow from me growing up and we spent 5 decades together doing everything from work to play found out he has later stage colon cancer and the Docs gave him 4-6 months to live
at best.
What is even more terrible is he lost his job about a year ago and took work without any health insurance on him,then his stepson had a baby with another drug addict and they spend all their time in jail so Jack took the baby boy that is now 2-1/2 years old and raised it as his own,the little boy thinks the world of him and is by his side all the time,thinks my friend is his father.
I just don't have any idea what to do,no words can express my feelings at this time.
Glenn Pennington

Glenn very sorry to hear about all of this. I will say a prayer for you, your family and friends. Ryan.

[QUOTE=kyfanatic;469952]Sorry about a downer thread,but this is what's on my mind right now,the older I get,the more I despise watching my family and friends die.Whether they are in a better place or not,I'm a selfish person and would rather they were still in this world in my life.
Being the youngest of 5 brothers and 1 sister I have endured losing one brother in Vietnam,and one more changed forever by that war.When the one that survived returned we bonded through hunting and fishing more than I did with the others,even though he was the oldest and myself the youngest.
Lost my Mom in 98',then lost my oldest brother in 2005 (he bought me my first gun and rabbit dog)and it was hard on me.Now my sister has breast cancer and is in a bad way,My father is 84 and slowly going downhill,which is painful to watch.The topper I learned this morning was my longtime friend who lived up the hollow from me growing up and we spent 5 decades together doing everything from work to play found out he has later stage colon cancer and the Docs gave him 4-6 months to live
at best.
What is even more terrible is he lost his job about a year ago and took work without any health insurance on him,then his stepson had a baby with another drug addict and they spend all their time in jail so Jack took the baby boy that is now 2-1/2 years old and raised it as his own,the little boy thinks the world of him and is by his side all the time,thinks my friend is his father.
I just don't have any idea what to do,no words can express my feelings at this time.
Glenn Pennington[/QUOTE]


Glenn...3 things come to mind....an ear, a hand, and a shoulder....

[QUOTE=kyfanatic;469952]Sorry about a downer thread,but this is what's on my mind right now,the older I get,the more I despise watching my family and friends die.Whether they are in a better place or not,I'm a selfish person and would rather they were still in this world in my life.
Being the youngest of 5 brothers and 1 sister I have endured losing one brother in Vietnam,and one more changed forever by that war.When the one that survived returned we bonded through hunting and fishing more than I did with the others,even though he was the oldest and myself the youngest.
Lost my Mom in 98',then lost my oldest brother in 2005 (he bought me my first gun and rabbit dog)and it was hard on me.Now my sister has breast cancer and is in a bad way,My father is 84 and slowly going downhill,which is painful to watch.The topper I learned this morning was my longtime friend who lived up the hollow from me growing up and we spent 5 decades together doing everything from work to play found out he has later stage colon cancer and the Docs gave him 4-6 months to live
at best.
What is even more terrible is he lost his job about a year ago and took work without any health insurance on him,then his stepson had a baby with another drug addict and they spend all their time in jail so Jack took the baby boy that is now 2-1/2 years old and raised it as his own,the little boy thinks the world of him and is by his side all the time,thinks my friend is his father.
I just don't have any idea what to do,no words can express my feelings at this time.
Glenn Pennington[/QUOTE]

I am so sorry that you have had such great losses and are now seeing those you love suffering with cancer. I won't dare to say that I know how you are feeling because each of us deals with sickness and death in our own way. The reason you can't find the words to express your feelings is because you can't see or touch death, you can't argue with it, and it always makes the final decision. I thought I would lose my mind when I lost my mother and both of my brothers, all suddenly over a short period of only 4 months.

I told you that to make you aware that sadness and grief will take over if you don't find an outlet or a way to deal with your heavy load. God is a big God and He is able to carry your load for you, so talk to him and tell him what you are thinking and how you feel; nothing you say will surprise Him. Spend as much time as possible with your sister and father and your friend. Lend them your shoulder to cry on, your ears to listen, hug them and be sure you always tell them you love them. Acknowledge their illness and tell them that you will be there for them; they already know it, but it's nice for you to say it and confirm what they already know. You will be surprised how much it will also help you to deal with your own emotions. I will pray for you and your loved ones.

Glen, I think I know what you're saying. I watched two wives die, at home, with incurable illnesses. My current mate[were not married]is also in the same predicament. I cared for my mother who developed alziemers, and died. We get to the age where we accept death,it is a part of living.I wish there was some way to let you know that you are not the only person who this happens to.Right now I'm waiting for a call from my doctor, which may be the final notice, but if this one isn't another one will come along. Make peace with the lord, be thankfull for the time he has given you and your's. My brother is the victim of an auto accident, he is almost always in pain, we talk, and its not so much about future plans anymore, just about the good days we had.

Glenn, I wish I had the words that would help, but I don't. Hope things get better for you and I am sorry you are having to face all of this.

Glen, what you are doing on this site is a good start cause talking about is whole lot better than holding it in. Things will get better and when it happens enjoy and savor it, cause it generally does not last long and then life pays us a visit again.

Stratos Joe is right, don't worry about a downer post it helps talking about your problems and they seem to be hitting you all at once. This probably won't help much now but from what you have said you have been very lucky you have come from a large family that I would say was close. You have some great memories of family and friends you should cherish all the great times you have had with these loved ones. We are never ready to let them go; I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

Glen,

I can hear you loud and clear. Here's the one thing I hold on to. Everyday I stay breathing, is a day those that have gone before me live in my memories. I feel like its clearly my time to continue the good things they did, and there memories many times come to me and help me through tough times. For that I feel more in there debt than I do for their loss.

We have the right to greive the friends and family no longer with us. And yet, we all know what it is they would wish for us. So keep up the fight and enjoy the memories. Believe me, it's okay to hurt. For christmas sakes, hurting is one of the things that reminds me I must still be here. :-)

It's a tribute to you sir and your spirit that you care and go on.

I appreciate the replies,still trying to make peace with all this along with having a back injury that is limiting what I can and can't do.Been tough working everyday hurt and coping with everyone else's mortality.