Fishing Reports??

I generally read fishing reports published on various web sites, but then in the end not always sure how to take them. Then recently read the article below, which pretty much sums it up! Full article can be read at: [URL]http://www.finefishing.com/humor%20and%20nostalgia/humor/lierscan.htm[/URL] But now, there is no way this occurs on Kentucky lakes and rivers; right!

[B]Liars Can Figure a Hard Look at Fishing Reports[/B]
[I][B]by [URL="http://www.finefishing.com/authors/bignami/bignamibio.htm"]Louis Bignami[/URL][/B][/I]
Back in my salad days when I did fishing reports for [I]Fishing & Hunting News[/I] in Northern California I was constantly in trouble with my publisher. I'd write that the streams in the foothills looked like cocoa and folks should stay home. Some marinas and guides would note that "the river's a bit off-color, but improving fast by the weekend." Readers would read my column and compare reports.
Then they'd call up to ask for specifics. Unfortunately, at the time I lived near Rough & Ready and had a listed number. I'd tell folks to come if they liked, but be prepared to plow. Readers would rely on guide's and marina reports and do this. Then, after a bit my phone would ring off the hook for "real reports." For it's clear that while some fishing reports come from the horse's mouth, more come from the opposite end. In the short term this might bring in a little extra business; in the long term it puts folks in the position of the boy who cried wolf.
Maybe we needed translations vis.
[TABLE="width: 570"]
[TR]
[TD="width: 50%"][B]Report[/B][/TD]
[TD="width: 50%"][B]Reality[/B][/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]It's improving fast.[/TD]
[TD]It must, nobody's caught a fish for weeks.[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Water clarity is a bit off.[/TD]
[TD]Bring your plow.[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Water's a bit cold but warming fast.[/TD]
[TD]Well, at least the ice is mostly off the lake.[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Sea's running a bit high, but should calm soon.[/TD]
[TD]At least we think so no boat's made it over the bar lately.[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Flyfishing's tough.[/TD]
[TD]You either need to chainsaw long holes in the ice to open up your cast, or an antifreeze spray to keep line from freezing in your guides.[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Everyone's doing well.[/TD]
[TD]The locals get fish. Everyone else gets a suntan.[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Action's hot[/TD]
[TD]The hatchery truck just arrived.[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]We just had a tournament[/TD]
[TD]Everybody else enjoyed bobbing in wakes.[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]

This sort of thing wouldn't be so bad if puff reports only existed locally. For if the local charter types inflate results results, as some did when I lived in the Bay Area, it was easy to ask Uncle Gino to go down and sit on the dock while Fish and Game counted bags. The skipper who claimed 287 cod and "75 pound bags" didn't like it much when Gino quoted Fish and Game's 145 cod and 31 pound average bags. So if you can, check on backup reports from public agencies. They don't care if you come or not.