Facebook Parenting: For the Troubled Teen

[QUOTE=jcb;480423]I don't think we're far apart, Tim.

As to the parent, I don't know whether he had a previous talk with her or not. I do know that no matter how many he had, he needed another one. If he had one, he needed two. If he had a dozen, he needed 13. "Sending a message" via Facebook is the coward's way out. He just made her an object of ridicule to millions of people. I seriously doubt if that is going to help his daughter, or his relationship with her.

I agree with a lot of your second paragraph, except I think the reason there are so many troubled teens is deeper than just "parents are not tough enough on their kids". My experience is, the reason many parents are lenient is because the parents themselves haven't yet grown up. They can't hold their kids to a standard they themselves won't live by. Teenagers are the best hypocrisy detectors alive.[/QUOTE]

I don't think we are far apart either jcb. I just believe that there are times where the talking ceases to be effective and other measure's are called for. I am not sure if we he did will work or not, I am just glad to see that he did something! Many parents these days would not have.

Tim I know what you mean......Most parents stop parenting.

Both of my daughters are pretty good kids. AND all kids try to see what they can get away with and it is up to the parents to resolve those issues. This girl will probably end up being a total basket case for many OTHER reasons.

With my daughters, they both have given me reasons to be tough on them. In my oldest daughters case, we caught her in a very serious lie when she was a Freshman in high school. She was a little older than other kids her grade, and was already driving. The lie occurred just after school started around Thanksgiving time. Long story short. We took her keys for the REST of the school year. Made her follow an EXACT schedule, and enforced some very STRICT rules. It was up to her to earn our trust again, which she did. She is a GREAT kid, and I think that action steered her from 1 path to another.

My other daughter, my youngest, has a MOUTH.....and has been lippy at times. She gets 1 and ONLY 1 warning. A second mouth off gets her car taken away. A few times is all it took. She now understands and respects the fact that while I might not be right, I'm the BOSS....PERIOD. At least while she is in my house.

Both of my kids are older now.............19 and 21. Both are in college, and both still push the limits a little. There are a few things that are unacceptable to me.

* Lying
* Breaking Curfew
* NOT being Responsible.

While they are in my house the rules above are NON NEGOTIABLE. Also, while in my house there are no assumptions about privacy. YOUR room is not your room. It is MY ROOM, and I let you borrow it. Anything in that room is FAIR GAME....Don't give me reason to snoop and I will not.

I run a Totalitarian Dictatorship......emphasis DICT........

Later,

Geo

So the daughter posted something complaining about how she felt she was being treated (was disrespectful) and the dad post a video showing how he dealt with her and pretty much ridicules her. I see no winner here.


I hate not knowing the full story and wondered why was the dad out on his own at age 15, was his parents to strict, let him run wild, just a bad situation.............

To quote jcb : "Teenagers are the best hypocrisy detectors alive"

[QUOTE=pontooner;480470]So the daughter posted something complaining about how she felt she was being treated (was disrespectful) and the dad post a video showing how he dealt with her and pretty much ridicules her. I see no winner here.


I hate not knowing the full story and wondered why was the dad out on his own at age 15, was his parents to strict, let him run wild, just a bad situation.............

To quote jcb : "Teenagers are the best hypocrisy detectors alive"[/QUOTE]

His father probably beat the living snot out of him for acting that way.

Today, you spank your kid and end up serving 20 to LIFE..........

I'm sorry but discipline in this country has gone to hell, and had that little princess been mine.......well I'd be spending 20 to LIFE........

Later,

Geo

FIRM FAIR CONSISTENT - 3 rules to live by in being a parent. I did not say TIMEOUT. Timeout is what Coaches call in Sports. Timeouts to discipline a child is the BIGGEST JOKE a Parent can do and the BIGGEST MISTAKE the parent can do to the child. Bust their Butts and Discipline them when they are young or Bail them out of Juvenile Detention or Jail later, take your pick. Kids have no respect for their parents. Kids don't FEAR their parents. I have a 23, 21 and 8 yr old. Between the 3 of them, they got their Behinds spanked less than 10 times COMBINED. That is a little over 3 spankings each in their life. They were good kids but they were also scared to screw up because they had to deal with me. I never beat them, never left a welt, never used any object but my right hand to bust their tails and yes their butts were red and my hand hurt. Parents have to discipline to where the child remembers the last disciplining right before they are about to do something they know they are not supposed to do. I remember the BELT when I screwed up. I messed up so many times my Dad was like a Ninja Warrior in that he could have the belt buckle loose, the belt pulled thru every pant loop, doubled up and crack my behind about 5 good whacks before I could say Jackie Chan. Kids NEED Discipline

I also watched the video and if you pay attention to it he had tried talking with her before when he had grounded her for something similar. Apparently she did not learn so now on to step two that I really liked. Now step three where she has to repay him for the money he spent plus the cost of the bullets. I think that is great. I also believe if you teach your kids at a very young age to respect their parents stuff like this wont happen.

I'm a believer in spanking a child if they need it. More folks should and I get reminded of that everytime I go to Walmart!!! Geez :eek::p

[QUOTE=jcb;480415]There's nothing Dr. Spock-ish about going to your teenager if there is a problem instead of trying to play Chuck Norris on her Facebook wall. The biggest challenge in parenting teenagers is not being tough on them, it's communicating with them. What he did was a lot easier than actually sitting down with her.[/QUOTE]


From what I read in the written version, and in the video, was that the father had already sat down with her several times and had that conversation and given his daughter warnings before. She thought she would play the 'hotshot' role by posting her crap on Facebook believing she had her parents blocked from reading it but forgot her father was an IT worker. I think she wanted to play the badass role to make her friends believe she was in control at her house.

If she is 'bad' enough to post her crap on Facebook, she should be bad enough to sit up and take it while her father tells his side of the story and the consequences for her disrespect. There are just some hardheaded teenagers you can't "communicate" bad conduct out of and more drastic measures have to be taken.

[QUOTE=DJD;480516]I'm a believer in spanking a child if they need it. More folks should and I get reminded of that everytime I go to Walmart!!! Geez :eek::p[/QUOTE]


Kids misbehaving in Walmart tells me they are just carrying on with the same bad behavior that is allowed at home. It makes me think someone should slap the soup out of mama for allowing all that whining and screaming to continue. They walk around like they are deaf while their brat annoys the heck out of all the other shoppers.

There are some better class stores that will send the security guard to ask the parents to quiet their kids down or take them out of the store. They explain that the kids are disturbing other shoppers.

[QUOTE=bassin_bug;480536]If she is 'bad' enough to post her crap on Facebook, she should be bad enough to sit up and take it while her father tells his side of the story and the consequences for her disrespect. There are just some hardheaded teenagers you can't "communicate" bad conduct out of and more drastic measures have to be taken.[/QUOTE]

I'm all for drastic measures if necessary. But I still say those drastic measures are MUCH more likely to have a good result if handled face-to-face rather than posted on Facebook. I still say, it's the coward's way out.

He could have had the very same talk--heck, even shot up her laptop of he thought it necessary--with her face to face. The ONLY thing he brought into the equation by posting it on Facebook was to embarrass her in front of millions of people. If anyone thinks getting publicly humiliated by your dad brings something positive into the equation, makes her more likely to change her ways, you definitely do not understand how teenagers think.

[QUOTE=jcb;480542]He could have had the very same talk--heck, even shot up her laptop of he thought it necessary--with her face to face. The ONLY thing he brought into the equation by posting it on Facebook was to embarrass her in front of millions of people. If anyone thinks getting publicly humiliated by your dad brings something positive into the equation, makes her more likely to change her ways, you definitely do not understand how teenagers think.[/QUOTE]
______________________

"You definitely do not understand how teenagers think."

REALLY! How many do you have to have before you begin to understand how teenagers think? I have a biological son and daughter and an adopted daughter......Just how many does it take, TWENTY AND COUNTING?

I'm just curious how you managed to gain so much insight into how teenagers think.