3 guys talking cars

Guy walks into the bar with a little 12" dude sitting on his shoulder.
Bartender brings him a beer, and the little guy jumps down and knocks it over.
Bartender wipes up and brings him another one.
Little guy jumps down and knocks it over. While he's at it, he boots the bowl of pretzels off on the floor.
Bartender asks the guy what's up with that.
Dude looks totally dejected. Tells the bartender about this genie granting him a single wish. Man I just had to go and wish for a 12" pri... uh companion.

[QUOTE=Devils Horse;490119]Guy walks into the bar with a little 12" dude sitting on his shoulder.
Bartender brings him a beer, and the little guy jumps down and knocks it over.
Bartender wipes up and brings him another one.
Little guy jumps down and knocks it over. While he's at it, he boots the bowl of pretzels off on the floor.
Bartender asks the guy what's up with that.
Dude looks totally dejected. Tells the bartender about this genie granting him a single wish. Man I just had to go and wish for a 12" pri... uh companion.[/QUOTE]

Hahahahahahahah!!!! Nice lol

Three Southern Belles are sitting on the veranda of a very spacious plantation sipping mint juleps.

The second Southern Belle asks the first Southern Belle, “What did your husband get you upon the birth of your first child?”

The first Southern Belle says “Oh my…upon the birth of my first child my husband bought me that lovely swimmin’ pool you see over there down the lawn.”

The second Southern Belle nods in appreciation and the third Southern Belle said, “Well, that's nice.”

Then the first Southern Belle asks the second Southern Belle, “Well, dahlin, what did your husband get your upon the birth of your first child?”

The second Southern Belle smiles radiantly and says, “Upon the birth of my first child, my husband bought me this beautiful diamond ring you see upon my hand.” and holds it out for all to admire.

The first Southern Belle exclaims, “Well, my! How very lovely!” and the third Southern Belle says, “Well, that's nice.”

Then the first Southern Belle and the second Southern Belle turn to the third Southern Belle and ask in unison, “Well hon, what did your husband buy you upon the birth of your first child?”

The third Southern Belle turns her head down demurely and then looks up with the slightest smile and says, “Upon the birth of my first child, my husband sent me to charm school. Now instead of saying 'F--- You' I just say 'Well, that's nice!'"

Speaking of Southern Bells.........do you guys know what a Southern girls mating call sounds like??

WWWWWWHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW.............I've had too much to drink.