Bonefish, where art thou you non-fish catching Sun of a Gun

[Bonefish]

You know, Elwood, all the things that are said by the ones who fish and post on Fishin.com are partly true and partly fiction. I also know through the years from those hospital beds it has been hard listening and reading about all these fishing stories and not being able to contribute, especially reading about all those big brown fish GeoFisher is catching down on Dale. Your eyes must stay red from crying.

Here’s my problem. Every time I drop my under water cam down on a point or ledge on Dale or Kentucky Lake, I find a sign driven into the bottom that says “Private-Elwood’s Sport.” How does a man deal with that? I have to admit, my “wide-gap” hook-setup technique, does catch a lot of “big brown log fish.” But, that’s just the price I pay.

My friend, it is always good to hear from you. Our fishing trips were a blast. I really hope you are starting to sniff baitcaster cleaning fluid once again, and just remember, put some feathers on those FNF jigs so to not make the rest of us feel bad. You always could spit some “bean juice” on a plain hook and catch fish. If you keep your stories straight, you may be inducted into the Fishing Hall of Fame one day. If you don’t you could be just another Pet Rose.

Good health and good fishing, Elwood!

[ON3 3Y3D WILLI3]

I recall the time Bone lost a solid 7 lber on KY and Woody and I couldn’t for the life of of us figure out how that fish came unbuttoned. We would soon find out. A little while and a few coves later, Bone needed to tie on a new hook. He did so then pulled out his pliers flattening the barb on the fresh hook. Woody was in stunned disbelief as to what he just witnessed and believe you me he let Bone have it for the rest of the day. I’m proud to see that this loving, kind-hearted ribbing is still going on almost 12 years later!

[Bonefish]

Will13, It is good to hear from you as well. It is good to see Elwood circulating again. You know his tackle bag has been his problem all along. He keeps anything from bubble gum to sledge hammers in that thing. I just hope he still has some teeth left, because if you remember, he would floss his twenty times a day. I am sure you have seen him drive with his knees and floss his teeth. You have heard of guys with ice water in their veins. Well, Elwood must have antifreeze in his veins the way he plows across the white misty wasters before sunrise without a hat on his head in thirty degree temperatures. I really think he is cold-blooded lizard. That bass I lost down on Ky was heart stopped. I still have nightmares on that one. It is good to hear from you. Willy.

[Elnutsmalljaws”II”]

Let’s tell the whole story Bone:

Paint the picture correctly in that me front of my boat had caught around 60 for the day, Vaun in the back of the boat had caught around 40 for the day, Bonefish middle of the boat had caught ZERO - NONE - NOTTA - NOTHING for the day!!!! I understand Bonefish went to school when they were the cave walls to communicate but in no century 2000’s, 1900,s or for Bone 1800’s was ZERO as good as 40 or 60. Every time I looked you was hooked on a TimberBass. But I must give you some credit, you said you got a much better hookup percentage by bending down the barb and bending out the hook point outside the plastic. You are correct 0% fish catching combined with 100% hookup with everything that wasn’t a fish is a better hookup percentage than my way. All I know is if I’m in the boat with 2 other guys and over 100 Bass have been caught with me catching NONE- the words would cross my brain - MAYBE ITS ME

Plus people say fish are stupid and I say that’s garbage and your missed 7 pounder proves it. Your line was swimming off when I asked you if you was going to catch that fish to which you picked it up slightly and said you was hung again as you added some pressure to the rod to which the big girl jumped and spit the bit. I looked at Vaun abs he looked at me. That fish knew if he hit the first offering he was a had lad or if he waited and hit the next offering had lad so she chose the guaranteed no way in heck was she going to get caught offering so she took yours!!!!!!! Very Smart Choice

[GeoFisher]

Man, it is SO, SO nice hearing from Woody on the forums again.

Very Nice.

[Bonefish]

Anyone who fishes with Elwood is at a total disadvantage. His brain scan looks just like a smallmouth's brain, so good luck trying to outsmart him. It is also a disadvantage when you sitting in the middle between two of best fishermen on the lake, taking some verbal abuse at times, and just trying to keep up. After thinking back on this situation, I think this was a "sat-up". When you find yourself in a situation like that, you have to start "thinking-out-of-box." You start binding hooks, crimping barbs, your eyes can't focus; I even tried injecting hotdog juice into my bushhogs. When you fish with Elwood, things become like you are in the "twilight zone." It just so happened my "box" came up empty that day. Fishing with guys like that can have a lasting affect on someone. I am still going to therapy.

[Shellkat]

Come on let’s here some more of them stories, I do enjoy reading them

[Elnutsmalljaws”II”]

I sent you my number 502 area code not the mistype 503 in the first message. Call me dang it or PM me with your number so I can call and see if you have any “Electric Chickens” I could borrow. Vaun you do remember the Electric Chicken?

[Elnutsmalljaws”II”]

Same fishing day as the 7pounder

Bonefish met me at my house and we left from Frankfort in the worst thunder and lightning I had driven in a long time. Literally 35-40 at times going down the BG towards Etown where we met up with Vaun who was coming down from Louisville.

Crash Bang all the way to Poplar Creek Lodge on North Barkley where Bonefish showed his Brains - literally by going in the room to sleep out the storm - but as an old golfing buddy of mine said once when he was asked if he was going for the Green in two on a par 5 - “I didn’t drive 2 hours to the course to lay up”. I told Vaun I was going even with thunder and lightning dancing on our heads. Vaun showed his intelligence and said I’m leaving my boat here and going with you. Off we went because I had this hump in Carmack that I just knew they should be stacked there that day and more coming everyday. We get there and I lay out the 2 markers showing each end and was telling Vaun what we were fishing in the deluge with lightning cracking so close the hairs are standing up on my neck. Foggy as heck to where you can barely see the ripples from your cast. We start absolutely crushing one fish after another after another. From Bucks to good quality 3-4 pounders we just ran this hump like a dirt track. Turns 1 and 2 were the holy grail which contained what I called “Grandmas Fuzz” you figure out the correlation. There is brush in turns 1and 2 that a 5/16oz Last Cast Jig ( Best dam jig I ever fished) came thru perfectly and usually with a Greenfish chewing on it. 3/8oz made you wish you had thrown no bigger than 5/16 after a cast or two.

Vaun and I were killing fish until about noon and that is when it happened. My phone rang because it had cleared up and a Bright Eyed Bonefish was at the ramp ready to go fishing. I knew I had to go get him and we also knew the 15 or so boats all around the banks had watched us stick fish after fish would mad dash for the spot after I picked up the markers.

Caught a few fish here and there the missed 7pounder happened............

Mind you between bending in bards and bending out hook points Bonefish has hung up on or landed every single piece of wood, rock, spare tires, lawn chairs or anything else on the bottom of North Barkley and North Kentucky EXCEPT A FISH!!!!!!!

Fast forward later in the day as the party boaters and tourneys are all weighing in I said boys reel them up I know a place that the fish have just settled in ready for supper. We were on North Kentucky around Sugar Bay - kind you my old heap only runs about 34 mph so it’s a pretty good haul back to Carmack and then taking the chance nobody is on the hump. Bonefish still has not caught a fish all day using his baits in his box one was called “The Electric Chicken”. Such a hard headed fella literally The Dumbest Smart Guy I know!!!! Ran into Carmack and nobody on the hump there was a boat off to the right fishing a point but I knew by reference points on opposite banks as to where to throw out the markers and I never came off plane dropping one on turns 3/4 and then dropping one on turns 1/2 whipped the boat around and idled up the backstretch because I wanted to start in turn 4 to fish the frontstretch to let us get ready for they real money spot in turns 1/2. I drop the trolling motor and catch a 3 pounder on the first cast. Almost made me look like I knew exactly what I was doing. Something I seen Pros do on TV but doesn’t always work like that to us amateurs. Vaun catches a couple I catch a couple Bonefish is getting hung up with his (I love you Bone) Mickey Mouse crimped barb bent out hookpoint stuff. Then Bonefish gets a call from his WAY MUCH BETTER HALF - Bonefish out-punted his coverage with his Better Half- and I guarantee he didn’t catch her with a crimped barb bent out hookpoint either. I took his phone and told her what a hard headed bullheaded man he was as she laughed full well knowing what I was saying was true. So as he finished talking to her I took his rod and set him up with a 5/16 green pumpkin Last Cast jig with a Zoom split trailer. He hangs up the phone and then realizes I have his rod. I said just cast don’t look at what’s tied on just cast. He literally made a cast and caught a 2 pound Largemouth. I wanted to hug him with one arm and smack him with my 7foot G Loomis until it broke with the other arm.

After all that Bonefish still argued with me the next 2 days that his way was better. I still Love Ya Bonefish and miss our conversations. I have spent 38 of the last 48 months laying in a hospital somewhere. Just got home Thursday for the first time home since Dec 6. Spent most of that in your old employer UK - ICU WARD. FULL CODED for the 5th time in my life but I’m still here for whatever reason.

I will end this with these words for every guy or girl reading this. You need to Cherish every cast you make every day on the water. It’s been going on 5 years since I made a cast. This is coming from a guy that has EVERY fishing rod and his tackle box IN MY LIVING ROOM. Nobody loves fishing more than me. Fishing has given me the opportunity to meet some GREAT FELLAS like Bonefish, Vaun, George, Mark, John ..............many great guys it gave me the chance to win the Billy Westmorland Horse Creek Tourney that I will cherish as a great accomplishment plus I can say I had an article written about me in Bassmaster Magazine. Fishing has given me a Lot and I only hope all the guys that have been in my boat all the post and articles I wrote years ago on this site and others that I have given back more than I got. All I can say is cherish your next cast because LIFE can take it all away thru circumstances out of your control in a heartbeat.

[Shellkat]

Great read and it’s a small world my daughter Shelly works there as a CNA in that unit while she goes to RN school in Midway

[Elnutsmalljaws”II”]

Great read and it’s a small world my daughter Shelly works there as a CNA in that unit while she goes to RN school in Midway

I was on the 9th floor ICU from Dec 6th to Dec 28th.

[Bonefish]

Elwood, your number you gave me says it no longer works. So, give me another. I will try to PM you with my number, and if you can read phone numbers rather than fish numbers, maybe you can call me. Bone