I was raised in a Catholic family, and my parents, especially my father is still involved in the church, unlike myself, until recently. After high school, I sort of just quit on it. I hate to say it, but I guess I turned my back on my religion, and God. I also have a lot of trouble understanding the kinds of things you wrote about. Especially in the recent months. My father has spent the better part of the last year fighting lung cancer caused by Asbestos. The hardest thing I have ever done was to watch my Dad, the only hero I have ever had in my life, go through that torture. He is doing well now and we expect to have him around for quite some time. My wife has gotten me back into the church as she is a devout christian, and I am starting to understand some things, but not all. Hopefully in time it will come. These days I just feel like I have no choice but to believe that God has a plan for us all, and that we just aren't meant to always know what that plan is. I thank God every day for both my parents and the recovery my Dad has made. I hope for the best for you and your's, and I will keep you all in my prayers.