I dont know ya personally Elnut but i feel i do a lil from wwhat I have read in this forum. Brother i am not one to judge no one and I am not the strongest christian i could and should be but, I have been close to death and hear i sit typing. I strongly believe that is Gods will. We have to all suffer sometime or other that is part of life. But all things happen for a reason. I just hope one day that you do realize that there is a God and he is there for you in the good and the bad. Also for the others that have commented on hear that they dont believe in our almighty God, I hope and pray that you to will see that there is a God. And yes Elnut I will pray for your family and you as well as the others that fill God has cheated them or that he just doesnt exist. So may God Bless you and your family at this very diffucult time in Yall's life.
I am just returning home from a loved ones funeral as I read your request I wish you could have heard the Pastor speak at this funeral. He might have been able to tell you thru his small sermon the reason for the bad things that happen I know he made me realize better Why my friend and relative was lying there in a casket.