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Thread: It's started

  1. #1
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    Dec 1969
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    It's started

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    My sister's e-mail to me.
    We can't seem to talk to each other on the phone. You're either going to bed or going to work. You took quite a few plastic containers of silver dollars home so they couldn't be stolen. You also took a blue CD/tape player that I bought for Mom last Christmas. I took home 3 containers of silver dollars. The blue CD/tape player is mine and you should also bring back half minus 3 containers of silver dollars. Your wife doesn't remember any silver being taken to your home, but I distinctly remember your insistence of anything of value being removed from the house because anyone could go into the house and take whatever. Since I was going back to Florida, it made more sense for you to take it back to Indiana

    My reply to sister:
    Sometimes the Internet doesn't give one the chance to hear voice inflections and attitude. I hope I wasn't reading a negative attitude into your e-mail.

    We did not remove any coins from the house. Plastic containers, loose or otherwise. I'm sorry and offended if you think we "stole" anything from Mom's house.

    Your e-mail was very nasty and hateful. I hope you have a better attitude when we meet in Virginia. Should I take an inventory and see what you removed upon your last visit to Buena Vista? That sounds pretty nasty and accusatory doesn't it? How do you think I feel after reading your e-mail. I don't want to play that game.

    Phone tag can be annoying, but I make no apologies to the fact that yes I do work, and yes I do sleep. If you like, I can call you at 3:00 AM. Oops, I bet you're sleeping then. Your 3:00 PM is my 3:00 AM.





    This is all in regards to our recently deceased Mother's property. I didn't take anything from the house.

    I am leaving Tuesday to go to Virginia and start to clean out Mom's house and sister will be there Wednesday. I better wait till sis gets there before I throw anything away.
    Doesn't seem like it will be a joyful family reunion.

    Her reference to my working or sleeping is in regards to my working 3rd shift and working 80 hours in 7 days. Yes, you're **** right, I'm either working or sleeping!!!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    Re: It's started

    Good luck in your situation. Dealt with the power of greed myself a few years back. Although it was not a sibling, I do have what I thought was close family members, that I have had no contact with in the last four years. It is amazing how some see only material gain in the passing of a loved one. Once again, best of luck to you.

  3. #3
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    Re: It's started

    Sorry about the death of your mother. If she had only taken the time to make a Will you wouldn't be dealing with this conflict now. Ahh, that's all in hindsight; maybe Mom thought you and sis could get along well enough to sort through her "treasures" after she'd moved to the "Big House."

    It seems to me that you might be better off to make sure there is a police officer or sheriff's deputy standing by at Mom's house when the property is divided. May I make a solid recommendation? DO NOT LET ANYONE IN THE HOUSE WHO HAS NO ENTITLEMENT TO THE PROPERTY. That means your wife and children or grandchildren or sister's husband and children or grandchildren. There is a thing known as "planned theft" and it's usually committed by those other than brothers and sisters. I could tell you some horror stories that happened in my spouse's family.

    I'm sorry your're having to fight a battle with the person who should be there for you at this grevious time. I wish you comfort and fond memories of your mother.

  4. #4
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    Re: It's started

    Tyme,

    I hate to hear that you are going through this. It seems there is one in every family. My father passed away due to a brain tumor that ruptured. He had a living will that requested a Do Not Ressusitate. Well, my sister, who is a lawyer, threatened to sue me if I did not keep my father alive with machines until she was able to make it home. It took her four days to make it home, yet there are daily flights to and from her residenitial city. Also she could have made the drive faster than that.

    It continues... my little sister wanted to buy the house she grew up in, and we all agreed to sell it to her for the taxable value. She, my lawyer sister, insisted the house be assessed for value to charge my little sister more than the taxable value. In the end, she cost my little sister a little over $25,000.

    It is a very bad shame that something as tragic as a death in the family can cause such strife.

    Please know you will be in my prayers.

    Danny

  5. #5
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    Re: It's started

    I too am sorry for your loss it is amazing what kin folks can do. I once thought ours was a strong family and that nothing like this could happen to us. Ours was a long drawn out injustice, had I not been in Germany serving in the Army I might have put an end to it before it began. My family on my mothers side were farmers and they had done well for themselves over the years. Then in the late 70s they struck oil on one of the two farms that they owned. it was a God send for them in what was thought to be an oil shortage my grandfather made several thousands of dollars even at the prices back then. I left to go to Germany in July of 1979 while I was on leave prior to shipping out He and I went for a walk on the farm that I had lived and worked on for five years prior to joining up. He had a new well drilled at a site on top of the highest hill on the place with a bluff that was some 4oo feet above the valley on the other side of the creek. I ask why in the world would he do that. His response was, Son you once told me if you were to own this place you would build a house right here so the breeze would blow all the time and you could look over the whole farm and valley from here. When you get back and you want to we will build tha place you want. well I had 17 months left on my hitch and I had to go but with the knowledge of where my home would be when I got back it did not seem so long. 2 months later I got a letter in the mail telling me he had died of cancer. No one had told me he was sick while I was home on leave because they knew I would have went AWOL to be with him. just 6 weeks later my 85 year old great grandmother who owned the other farm died. My grandmother said she could find no wills for either of them the farm that belonged to my great grandmother was clearly hers as she was an only child but as for my grandfathers property in the case of there being no will then the property is divided equaly between the wife and children. This would have made my mother one third owner of 234 acres and three houses and 200 head of beef cattle. not counting what ever monies there was involved. While my mother was grieving My uncle and Grandmother came to our home and ask her to sign some final papers that would make my grandmother superviser of the farming business, along with my unle untill a time for the estate to be settled. my mother tookk their word for this. What she signed was a release of all of her inheritance. While my Grandmother lived in did not seem to bother my mother. So I stayed out of it.
    Then 10 years ago I was reading a local paper and saw where the farm that my grandfather owned had been sold and the property transferred. When I confronted them about it, they said they had meant to tell her but it just slipped their mind. $250.000 dollars is easy to forget about I guess. well 5 years ago my grandmother died she left ten thousand dollars to my mother and all other monies (as stated in the will so not to let her lnow how much) and remaining properties were given to her brother and he could take up to 4 years to pay her the ten grand. To say the least we were all hurt and more than a little mad, then just one year after the passing of my grandmother Myuncle sold the farm and house for nearly 500 thousand and moved to a small town and they refused to have contact with my mother for any thing. But for some reason the scales always get balanced My uncled only lived for 2 years after the sale he developed bone cancer and it took him in less tha 14 months. While I can not say I forgive my family for the way they did my mother I can say I never wished for anything like that to happen to them. I hope God can build a bridge for your family and let there be a healing I blame our families failure on myself as much as anyone. I was just as stuborn and just as mean spririted as they were at the time I let jealousy and greed make my heart hard and cold. I said and did a lot of things I would take back if I could, but that will not happen on this world, maybe in the next God willing my family will be just that my family. So try to go into this with an open heart, and talk it out pain of the heart is a cruel and spiteful thing it makes us someone we are not remember who you lost not what your going to gain.
    I hope this little prayer won't offend you.

    Dear Lord give this Family the love, strength, and heart to help each other through this ordeal. Keep the devil's plan from destroying them as a family. Let them heal each others wounds and lead each other out of this dark place in their lives, I know that their loved ones that have gone home ahead of them to join you at your table would not want this pain to conquer their love.
    Dear lord it is your strength that they need to lean on, and I know you will give it to them if they only ask.
    Amen

    Dennis

  6. #6
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    Re: It's started

    Dennis,
    Your troubles make my little rant seem so trivial. My heart goes out to you.

  7. #7
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    Re: It's started

    I hope it did not come off as a plea for pity, I just wanted to show you how a few bad words at the wrong time, changed my life. There is a whole world around us that have greater problems than you and I. I just wanted you to avoid the traps that I fell into. So freind you are in my thoughts and my prayers, Good Luck.

    Dennis

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