I think I know how you are feeling right now.I have been catherized for over two months, had my surgery last week, went home, and right back to the tube two days later. The cathter is out now, but for how long who knows,last week i would have ate rat poison if there was enough of it around to dso any good, but I know there are fol;ks who are worse than me, so I'm going to keep trying to get back to at least moderate health, all these woes started when i decided to quit smoking, start taking care of myself, and get back in shape.three hospital stays later, and I'm still not sure its over. But you cant give up. I got that new boat to use,and now maybe that long walk up that steep ramp will be easier, keep the faith, we only are alive for a short time,things will get better.