Should I be upset or not?

[Bandit1]

This has been bothering me for a couple weeks now. Our club had a kids tournament a couple weeks ago (on a lake in Ky). I took austin30900, which is my son, as most of you know. He fished for about 5 of the 8 hours, which I am very proud of by the way (being 8 yrs. old that is). Anyway, when we got to the weigh in, he was the only kid that didn't have a bass to weigh. That bothered me bad enough, then a fellow angler, one that I have the utmost respect for & a good friend of mine asked me "why didn't you just give him one of yours?" Now I am not mad at this guy at all. I am ticked to think that is what we are teaching our kids today. That it is ok to do this kind of thing. Now, here is my question. Do I have the right to be upset over this, or am I just being rediculous here? I am NOT saying that all these kids didn't catch their own fish. I am not pointing any fingers. I guess what I am asking is, if I have the right to be upset over this or not? Would you all be upset?

Jason

[Bassky]

It is hard to find men today with any integrity. I stand behind you 100%. It would upset me. JMHO.
Bassky

[Grumpy]

What you are talking about is one more sign/proof that America is financially, spiritually and MORALLY bankrupt and it is just a matter of time before we go under completely. I won't get on my soapbox but you are right to be ticked, and it does make you wonder how many of the other fathers are doing exactly what that guy suggested. It is definately the wrong lesson to be teaching a young man but one the he probably learned from his father, who had learned it from his father.

Grumpy

[Buckrub13]

It would bother me also. It seems somewhere along the way we started teaching our kids that there are no losers. Everybody gets a trophy. Nobody gets cut at tryouts. Everybody makes the team. Him making that statement about giving your son a fish to weigh in would send the wrong message to your son.

[Todd2]

Well, I guess I'll disagree with the others here. First, was there any chance he was just messin around? Second, even if all of the other kids really didn't catch their own, you and your son both know that you did it right. It just goes unspoken. I wouldn't be upset at all. I'm just glad to see 8 year olds fishing and not playing video games all of the time. JMHO

[MsgMills]

Bandit1,
I feel you have every right to be upset at the father who suggested that you should have given your son one of your fish.... Your trying to teach him a lesson and that is if you catch the fish you weigh them in....If you don't then you watch and learn, simple plan.... I applaud you for your teaching ethics, same as I would have done for my two sons.......

[raporter]

Ethics! Something that is being lost in all aspects of our lives. If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything. It may be a well worn statement but it rings very true. Thank you for teaching your son to do it right.

[fisheater]

I know ive already told you how i felt about it.Its suppose to be a fun event for the kids and i hate when kids dont catch one...Its not really to far off from your kids seeing you fish a tourney and cheating.Im like you i think if that was going to be the practice it should have been said before this outing even took place.I think its kinda crappy that the ones who did it right feel bad when they dont have anything and others where given one to save there feelings and not taught you win some you lose some.

[DJD]

I wouldn't be ticked at all, I would ask the guy what he mean't by the comment. Was he joking or not, just being a smarty pants? Then upon his answer I would decide what to do and I would also wonder about any tournaments I fished against this guy in the future based upon his (wrong)answer. Until then it's all just guessing and judgements. JMHO.

[geobass]

In a day when kids are told there are no losers, I'm not surprised. You did the right thing and I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. When t-ball stopped keeping score things changed.
Who was it that said, you have got to stand for something or you will fall for anything? Kids today must learn that coming in second is to be second loser. There is only one winner and it should and I hope will always be that way.
Maybe your son needs a better teacher!lol just kidding....

[Cobra190]

In the most humble of winners, you'll find the most graciuos losers. That's how I was taught. You have to learn how to be a good loser before you become a good winner.
Spent many hours playing basketball with my son. I never let him win and to this day at 23, he has never beaten me. He doesn't get mad any more that I win and I've never mentioned to him that he's never won. The most important thing was that he never stopped trying. What kind of effort needs to be put out if you know you're going to wim in the end? Just enough effort to get through. In younger, toddler age children, you may have to let them win or they will not play the game, but wean them off and make sure they understand that you get nothing for nothing and if you want it you have to be willing to do what it takes and put forth the effort to get it.
So Kudos to you Bandit1, if you don't make the effort to stress your morals to your kid...Who will.
Oh yeah!!! I stopped fishing tourney's for fear that I was becoming too gracious a loser with all the practice I was getting.

[Jabbo]

I always try to live my life by a few rules, I always try to say what I mean, mean what I say and I personally try to let Jesus guide me. I agree that there are winners and losers. I think this is a great opportunity to teach your son a valuable lesson(s). By not giving your son a fish, but teaching him how to fish and how to overcome difficult situations you essentially are teaching him how to fish for life, building his character and strength that he will use his entire life. You can use the example of other fathers giving their children fish to weigh (so that their kids won't feel bad), as a learning tool. Show him it's okay to not win. It is okay not to catch fish some days (even the pros do that). The important thing is that he tried and make sure that you express how much you enjoyed being with him on that day. I would also suggest getting into a small fishing tournament where you have a partner and you weigh fish collectively. I think this be a great thrill for him. Whether he caught them or not, you always refer to our fish, our catch, our weight our prize money our loss etc. No one ever has to know who caught what. It's a team! You do have to let him carry the bag to the scales and hand them to the official Your only here once. Make the most of it and keep on teaching ethics and integrity. I'd take this situation and use it as a learning tool for him and then cast it away from me like a booger. You know the saying.... Make Lemonade..
Good Fishin!!