If I'm ever in an emergency situation on the river, please call New Albany Fire and Rescue or maybe even Clarksville Rescue.

These guys took forever to don their wetsuits, etc. I mean, geez guys, I'm glad you're practicing because it looked like you needed all the practice you can get. I didn't wait to see how long it took them to launch the boat.

My dead bloated body would be in Evansville before these Keystone Kops got their act together.