Do you patriotic duty Saturday

[bassin_bug]

DON'T FORGET ABOUT NEXT SATURDAY!

Don't forget to mark your calendars.

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked. He must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, & to demonstrate they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife, & to show support for all American women. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment. The American gov't appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists & applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

My dear patriotic friend:

Are your beside yourself and don't you know the parade will take more than an hour? Every day I see women with butts so large they have to make two trips when told to haulass (how's that for spelling?). They look like billboards wearing shorts with the word "Cute" written on the seat. I won't mention cracks chewing a big wad of shorts with every step they take; imagine that with an American flag waving from the rear. Others look like a Greyhound bus that had a bad wreck. All that is just the rear view.

You can't see their cute legs because there is a tub of lard covering the entire front side. A couple of pumpkin-size bumps swinging from an area somewhere around their shoulders and bouncing off their knees to the tune of "Love Me Tender" should further contribute to your viewing pleasure. If you're really feeling like a jock, you could sink an orange into their belly button from 50 yards away.

If you want to take your lawn chair, a cooler of beer, and back up under a shade tree and enjoy those beauties without clothes, don't say I didn't warn you. Maybe at least one of them will lose her G-string and you'll enjoy finding it. You may even be able to find one of the fine ladies lost Chihuahua if she happens to bend over.

I'm sure the parade will be patriotic, enjoyable, and include an occasional perfect "10" strategically placed and interesting enough to keep watching the next 100 before another "10" passes by. By the end of the parade, you should be either blind drunk or blind wishing you were drunk.

I salute your patriotism and wish you a successful anti-Muslim day.

Sincerely,
Bassin_Bug