How do I save my boat??

[BASSKING]

I dont belive i would be worrying about my boat or fishing right now,think about your wife and kids and how to salvage the marriage. From what you say you are just worried about yourself and your boat,makes one wonder what happend to the marriage.

my thoughts exactly. the boat would be the last thing on my mind. my kids would be top priority.

if fishing comes before your children and marrige than there is no suprise that its turned out this way for you. not trying to be a smart elleck but the priorities seem to be mixed up with your situation

[bassin_bug]

"I am 'technically' a professional since I am on a team."
_____________________________________

Man, I could walk all over that.... and then some. Fishing with a team doesn't make you technically anymore a professional than standing in a garage makes me a car. It's like being pregnant; she is or she isn't but there is no such thing as being technically pregnant.

If your main source of income is not from fishing, you are not a professional. If it is, I recommend you change jobs because fishing gear, gasoline, entry fees and boat payments are eating up money needed to pay your bills and support your family. I can't help but wonder how many long, lonely hours your wife has spent alone wanting and needing you. I wonder how many arguments it took for her love to die a slow painful death. Was it already dead before you even noticed?

Can that dang boat hug your children; can it dry their tears; can it pitch them a ball or replace their daddy; can it read them a bedtime story; can it kiss them goodnight; can it help them say their prayers? You get ONLY ONE CHANCE to fulfill your role as a Daddy and it has to be every day and every night........not every now and then. Don't break the children's heart.

[zx150]

Well said bug.

[Devils Horse]

From experience I'll give you some advice. Take it for whatever it's worth.

Also for whatever it's worth I don't buy her being the sainted one sitting home with the kids waiting for you to come home from fishing. Her unwillingness for counseling, and her willingness to mediate indicates she just wants out. That may mean there's someone else in the picture.

If you have debts such a credit cards, cars, etc, and y'all were living off just your income, you won't be able to support 2 households and maintain your current lifestyle. Your life is about to change in a big way, and you're going to have to man up more than you can imagine. Mediation instead of the lawyer enriching divorce industry our court system has become helps some.

Cash all the liabilities out, truck, boat, and anything else that's financed. Scratch up enough to get a clunker to drive, and look for a cheap apartment. Wrap your mind around the fact that your child support is your first obligation and it is not cheap. It trumps everything, your food, shelter, fishing, other women, and anything else. After my divorce I built computer networks during the day, but took the building's cleaning contract and cleaned toilets at night. Not looking down on janitorial work, just saying you may need a second job.

You may as well look up the state mandated child support formulas because that's what you'll wind up paying regardless of what comes of mediation. One visit to the court by her is all it takes. There is no accountability, she could piss away the money and the state won't do jack about it, but they'll nail your hide to the wall for non payment. You do the right thing, and hopefully she'll do the right thing.

Soon enough she'll marry someone else, and they'll probably have more than you, but that doesn't change your financial obligation to support your children a bit. He could be a millionaire, and you'll still owe the same amount. My ex and husband's cars, house, lifestyle and that of my kids were always considerably better than mine, but I was fine with that. I didn't want the bakstrad paying for my kids anyway.

Also understand that you have the RIGHT to see you kids no matter what happens financially. Use it. Don't let any other noise get in the way of being a father. That's just as important as money.

[DJD]

Good points Jim. It took me about 7 years to get back on track. It does take time....

[Col Forbin]

Wrap your mind around the fact that your child support is your first obligation and it is not cheap. It trumps everything, your food, shelter, fishing, other women, and anything else.

Also understand that you have the RIGHT to see you kids no matter what happens financially. Use it. Don't let any other noise get in the way of being a father. That's just as important as money.

Great Post!! Keep your priorities straight.

[Grumpy]

Even though this is correctly posted on the Off Topics Board, this thread has gotten way beyond the boat and anything having to do with fishing so I am locking it now. This has nothing to do with anything or anyone that has posted, it has just gotten too personal. If someone wants to send more advice to Cra97 send him a Private Message.

Grumpy