Butt Dust

[bassin_bug]

A mother's true story.

This particular Sunday sermon...."Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward Heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust...." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter, who was listening, leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four-year-old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

[roadrunner]

Art Linkletter= kids say the darndest things.

Beep Beep

[RoadToad]

I'm glad that turned out to be a funny story, because the visuals I got when I read the title were not pretty

Once, when I was singing in the 8th grade choir, I had to introduce the next Christmas carol we were about to sing, which I said was "O Come All Ye Faithful, also known as Adeste Fiddles" (I didn't know how to pronounce "Fideles"). My mom tried to suppress her laughter and ended up letting out a loud snort, because she thought I had said, "Oh Dusty Fiddles."

[pontooner]

I'm glad that turned out to be a funny story, because the visuals I got when I read the title were not pretty

Funny Bug

First thing that I thought of was John McCain passing gas. Hee Hee He is old you know.

I've steered clear of all political post for over a month now, so let me have a little fun with this one without someone getting bent out of shape.

[bassin_bug]

A relative was making plans to go into the hospital to have her tubes tied. She explained to her little 4 year-old daughter that she would be going to the hospital for surgery. In a very concerned way she said, "Oh, mommie, are you sick?" Her mother explained that she wan't sick that she was having surgery. The little girl asked why and her mother said, "I'm just having my tubes tied."

The little girl called my niece and was whining like she was about to cry. She said, "Oh, Aunt Kim, mommie is having sur'gury," to which Kim asked, "That sounds serious, why is she having surgery?" She answered, "She's having her boobs tied."

[bassin_bug]

When that same little girl was about two, he mother dressed her for church and told her sit on the bed while she got dressed. She watched carefully at everything she did but soon left the room. When her mother came out going to church, she noticed that the little tot was walking funny. Mommie asked, "Honey, did you poop in your pants," as the child backed away from her holding her hand over the seat of her pants, she turned and took off running. When Mommie caught her and checked her panties, she discovered that the little tot was wearing a sanitary shield wadded up in her panties.

[greenriverman1]

True story.

Little girl in church always wares old ragged looking clothes. So one Sunday she shows up to church dressed in a very pretty dress. The preacher says "Martha you look so pretty today in that dress why don't you ware it more often"?

Martha says "cause mom says it's a bit-h to iron".

[bassin_bug]

LOL, I can only imagine how the mother felt.

I was sitting in church one night and a restless little boy was sitting with his mother in the seat in front of me. He kept moving around, standing up pulling at the seat of his pants. His mother would pull him back down on the seat and he would get up again. She kept whispering to him to be still and hush. Finally he yelled out, "Mama, 'cratch my butt, I think I got worms."

[Tyme2fish]

I always wondered why our Preacher talked about a garden product before we prayed.

Lettuce Spray.

[DJD]

I always wondered why our Preacher talked about a garden product before we prayed.

Lettuce Spray.

LOL! Hahaha

[slippedcork]

LOL, I can only imagine how the mother felt.

I was sitting in church one night and a restless little boy was sitting with his mother in the seat in front of me. He kept moving around, standing up pulling at the seat of his pants. His mother would pull him back down on the seat and he would get up again. She kept whispering to him to be still and hush. Finally he yelled out, "Mama, 'cratch my butt, I think I got worms."

Thats the dumbest thing I ever heard.