At some point you have to make a firm decision and not worry about who's mad at you and who isn't. The only difference is that they hide it while you are handing out the cash; when you don't, they show it. It's all the same when the bottom line is written.

There was a time when I got up at 3:30 am, dressed and drove 65 miles one way to my office. My sorry BIL's were just coming home from all night parties to sleep off hangovers as I was leaving for work. They used every excuse in the book to "borrow" small amounts of money but never paid it back. Finally one came to borrow a few hundred dollars to pay for eyeglasses for his child. He insisted that I write the check to him instead of the doctor, not knowing that I knew the doctor. Next morning I called him and asked if he had seen the child; he said he examined him a year before. I called the bank, stopped payment on the check, then called the BIL and blew up all over him and sent the same message back to the rest of my in-laws, "Don't you ever ask to borrow another dollar from me, not even if you are bleeding to death." Problem solved and they stopped visiting as a bonus. Love it!