The Nature of Forums.......

[GeoFisher]

This is how forums work:

(and by no means original...really funny the first time though).

"How many Group members does it take To change a lightbulb?

One to change the light bulb and to post That the light bulb has been changed.

Fourteen to share similar experiences Of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb Could have been changed differently.

Seven to caution about the dangersOf changing light bulbs.

Seven more to point out spelling/grammar errors In posts about changing light bulbs.

Three to correct spelling/grammar errors.

Six to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb".

Another six to condemn those six as stupid.

Fifteen to claim experience in The lighting industry and give The correct spelling.

Nineteen to post that this group is not About light bulbs and to please take
This discussion to a lightbulb (or light bulb) forum.

Eleven to defend the posting to the group Saying that we all use light bulbs
And therefore the posts are relevant To this group.

Thirty six to debate which method Of changing light bulbs is superior, Where to buy the best light bulbs, What brand of light bulbs work best For this technique and what brands Are faulty.

Seven to post URLs where one can see Examples of different light bulbs.

Four to post that the URLs were posted Incorrectly and then post the corrected URL.

Three to post about links they found From the URLs that are relevant To this group which makes light bulbs Relevant to this group.

Thirteen to link all posts to date, Quote them in their entirety Including all headers and signatures, And add "Me too".

Five to post to the group that they will No longer post because they cannot handle The light bulb controversy.

Four to say "didn't we go through this Already a short time ago?"

Thirteen to say "do a Google search On light bulbs before posting Questions about light bulbs."

Three to tell a funny story about Their cat and a light bulb.

AND

One group lurker to respond to The original post 6 months from now With something unrelated and start it All over again."

"Those who stop where reason and instinct command never reach the best and highest places of all" Bill Gilbert

I stole this from another board.....

Later,


Geo

[Chubminnow]

Hey this is dang funny stuff right here..thanks for posting it! I'll get a lot of mileage out of this one.

Oh and by the way...I don't think it's a "light bulb" or "lightbulb" either one...I think it's officially called a "lamp"...sorry George, couldn't resist

[GeoFisher]

I was going to add my own two cents........something about I'm the guy who bitches about the lightbulb being the ROOT to all GLOBAL WARMING

Later,

Geo

[mhall]

I call the new bulbs................Al Gore bulbs. Have you ever read what you are suppose to do if one of those planet saving bulbs break, lol.


Call HASMAT HURRY, WE HAVE A SITUATION ON OUR HANDS.

[Dave Stewart]

Don't forget: One post hijacker that changes the subject by mentioning that he prefers candles to lightbulbs and wants to know who else loves candles and what kind.

Don't forget: One forum moderator who will delete anything he finds objectionable or just because he feels like it.....

[Tim_T]

from what I have been able to find, it appears it is light bulb. There is ample info about the incandescent light bulb on wikipedia.

Unfortunately, the only light bulb forum I was able to locate was an antique bulb message board. I tried to post there, but it seems the moderators there are a bunch of UK lovin communist PETA members who are from West virginia so I didn't stay around!

[DJD]

What makes this funny is it's based from truth! BTW LED's are the way of the future. Talking about antiquated light bulbs isn't very bright.

[RoadToad]

"One to point out that with NOBAMA in office, nobody will be able to afford light bulbs in a few years."

[Tyme2fish]

As usual, I had to go to another forum to get the true facts. All the above posters are incorrect as to what constitutes a "light bulb." This forum does allow the use of the term s u c k so it's **** in the below C&P

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they **** dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.

The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass, is heavier than light, and is faster than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs **** dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to **** dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to **** dark than the ones in your room.

As it is with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer ****. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker. A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.

There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. That is why it is called light.

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is really a Dark Sucker.

[psprowler]

AND

One group lurker to respond to The original post 6 months from now With something unrelated and start it All over again."

Geo

This is my favorite. I laugh out loud every time I read it.