Originally Posted by
elnutsmalljaws
First to admit that my faith is going away as well. I was baptized in January of 2009 but have not been to church since December and the more problems I have the farther away from God I get. I hear over and over and over and over that God does not put on us more than we can handle and that there is a reason for all of this and the path that I travel was there long before I was and..... very hard to keep the faith up when everytime you turn around you are in the hospital. What many don't know is that I have been going to UK EVERY WEEK for the past 7 weeks for an Endoscopy procedure. My small intestine has collapsed and they are ballooning up the area in hopes that it will stay open and I can eat food again instead of using my feeding tube. Stated out they could not even get the scope down then got it to 9, 11, 13 1/2 and 15 is the latest size of the opening. Moved it to every other week and next one is on the 28th. They have to give me so much anesthesia for a simple outpatient procedure that I have not slept ANY Thursday night, Friday or Saturday for the past 6 weeks. Completely awake and miserable by Saturday night / sunday whenever I do actually sleep. Not a way for a man to go thru life. There are times that I wish my health problems were terminal and I knew there was an end in sight because it would be easier to deal with mentally. All of this over and over stuff that I go thru *****. My wife sees what I go thru daily and she deals with medical records and sick people thru the Disability Office daily and has seen very few people in her 9 years there that have gone thru what I go thru. Not asking for sympathy just venting a bit and wish it was all over, one way or another.
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