My husband drove me to my home in AL about a week and a half ago, got home last night. I insisted on going before I have to see the new doctor because I don't know what all they may decide to do and it might be six months before I could go if I didn't go then.

Was thinking about having a section of timber thinned out and couldn't walk it so Sweetie Pie volunteered to drive me around the outer perimeter of the whole estate since he had never seen the back side of it....in his $35k, freshly detailed, truck. I kept telling him we would drive about 1-1/2 miles down a gravel road, that was in good shape, and turn around where that road runs into another one. When we got to that road he asked, "Which way now?" I said, "Turn around and go back; remember we had 5 tornadoes with lots of rain in this county two days ago and we might get stuck in the mud." He reminded me we were riding in an Off-Road truck with 4-wd, and a big powerful engine; the road 'looked' like the one we had just come in on; and he wanted to turn one way or the other. I told him that if he turned right we would go past the oil well (not mine) and come out on the highway. If he turned left we would have to drive through two creeks about 1/2 mile apart and through the swamp...not advisable, but we would eventually find a paved road. He turned LEFT and I knew he didn't hear the word "swamp" and was about to be introduced to my neck of the woods. I pulled my seat belt as tight as I could....and still live, positioned my head against the headrest, pushed my feet tightly against the floorboard and watched. About that time we went down a dry hill, saw the first shallow creek, drove through it and into the wonderful hell of THE SWAMP. He hadn't noticed that those deep ruts were made (1) before the tornadoes and (2) they were made by hunters riding ATVs. We ripped, roared, and spun through them and came to the next creek with gravel bottom. Yep, Sweetie Pie was sure he had it made but it turned into more of the same and the road suddenly ran out (or so he thought). There were trails going left, trails going right, at least a hundred of them and he couldn't decide which way to go, they were ATV trails. I told him we were on the main road but the problem was that swamp from hell was filled with surprises, 20 winding miles of them. Just as he found a place with somewhat dryer ground he had to go through a small mudhole with thick green water and I told him to roll up his window, which he refused to do. It was stinky and I knew what lay ahead; another larger mudhole filled with the same, only deeper. He gunned the truck and the front wheels shot a load of that stinking water onto his left shoulder and into the back seat.....hog sheet! I neglected to tell him the swamp was full of wild hogs and he had just found their favorite feeding grounds.

There was no place to stop and it was impossible to turn around and go back which meant keep moving and live with the stinking hog wallow until we got home. At the end of that road I saw an opening and it was a paved road that I knew well and pointed it out to him. His freshly detailed truck was covered with mud and smelled like a hog pen..er, hog sheet. I announced that he had just discovered my neck of the woods and I hoped he enjoyed his little off-road trip. He snapped back, "If it isn't paved with concrete or asphalt, don't talk to me about going!" to which I answered, "You should listen to your wife more often." roflmbo