Is this a wise move?

[Tom523]

A friend of mine that is 63 years old was widowed 6 years ago . He took it pretty hard. All he had was his military pension and money that he made fixing lawnmowers. His mobile home and property are paid. He was an avid fisherman that went to the cumberland river every weekend to fish with his friends that he knew from the army. He met a woman from louisville online and fell in love. She was a widower with a 46 year old son living with her. Her son has a bad drug habit and can't keep a job. Last February he called me and told me "I tied the knot 30 minutes ago". I congratulated him and asked where he was. He said "at the insurance agent changing his life insurance". She would not move into his mobile home because it was not hers. It belonged to his deceased wife and she would not move in. After a year he had his mobile home moved and a new 3 bedroom doublewide in place. She sold her house and paid off the first and second mortgages and some of her credit card bills. She and her son moved in but his wife continued to work in Louisville. A few months ago she retired but got a part time job closer to home. Since she has moved in he has sold his boat because she would not get in it. She also bought a new jeep. I stop and see him every now and then and she is almost never there. He was doing laundry the last time I stopped over. He called me today and said that he is selling his home and everything he has but her Jeep and buying a house boat. He plans to live on the house boat and travel the Mississippi. In the summer live in the North and winter in the south. I know he has a limited income and she has a small pension. Is it very expensive to maintain a houseboat? I don't think this is a wise move for him to be making. What do you guys think? What can I say to talk him out of it? Or should I?

[DJD]

I say it's his life and he's a grown man. Let him live his life if he is happy. Do you think this woman is taking him for a ride?

[Big Gills]

There are some men so desperate for a wife that they lie down and let that woman walk all over them. Especially when she brings her adult son to live with her and her new husband. Very tacky. Yep Tom, no doubt she has full rein over your friend and can do whatever she wants and he wont say a thing to stop her. I do feel sorry for men that are so whipped they cant stand up for themselves. He wont be happy with that for long. He may be too proud to tell you that. I feel bad for him. He sounds like a good man who deserves better.

[kygorski]

My second wife was divorced, she had a son who lived with her, the guy was pharmalogicly challenged. After going with her for a couple of years, she said why not live together, I was against that, but finally I sold my home. the kid got his smith together, and it was sort of nice having him around. When I got my buy out, I asked her to retire also.We got married, had 14 wonderfull years together, moved here to the boon docks, bought a new travel trailer, and were on the verge of becoming nomads, till she came down with an uncurable fast acting cancer. She was the sweetest person in the world, her ex and I were almost friends. My kids said I wqas old enough to know what I was doing, but they did scratch their heads a few times.. I guess I just can't stand living alone, but I sure dont have any luck finding healthy companions,am watching one now suffer with several illnesses, but again a nice person.So my high school sweet heart died, my blonde bomb shell also, and the nurse who was supposd to look after me, well the tables have turned, but its been quite a ride. I keep telling my son to find someone, his wife also died of cancer, but he promised to look after his daughter, she will be college age next year, and he said maybe the time is right.

[DJD]

Margie,
I agree with what you said about some men. I know of a few and they give me junk because I haven't remarried. Truth is after being divorced it changed my perspective on life. If I am lucky enough to find a woman who will let me play with my toys and stay home to cook and clean my house then I'll be set! Just kidding of course!!
Seriously though if I find someone who matches up with me the last thing I want is people telling me it's wrong. It's up to me, I'm a big boy and if you don't make mistakes then you will never learn.

[Big Gills]

Hey Don, yes of course, that is not all men but some who marry too quickly their second time around. I have 2 male friends in Kentucky who are going thru this. I am all for living with someone the second time around. I think that is very smart of you. Thats what I plan to do also. You really need to get to know someone really well before you take that big step into marriage. With Tom's friend, my concern is that the new wife has made so many new changes. Is his friend happy with all the new changes that are being made in his life? If he is really happy then that is wonderful and I wish them all the best. The fact that Tom is concerned shows me all may not be right.

[bassin_bug]

Does your friend happen to have adult children? If so, I would be willing to bet you a steak dinner she is gradually taking everything they are entitled to. Almost the same thing happened to my husband's father and when he got his head out from under her skirt, he had already lost half a million dollars. She had already talked to the realtor to arrange the auction of his house, 300 acres of land, and all the cattle. We stopped the auction and I backed her into a wall and read her the riot act and threatened to wring her neck. Soon thereafter my father-in-law died and she thought she had it made with her half million. She died 6 months later and her kids blew through that money like Castor Oil through an old woman.

Take your friend off to the side and give him a little wake up call by pointing out your concerns. The very last thing he needs is a house boat especially one on the raging Mississippi River. Suggest that he kick that druggie out of the house and send his wife packing along with him. If you are not brave enough, get to his children or family members and express your concern for the welfare and wellbeing of your friend. His new wife demanding that he change the beneficiary on his life insurance over to her is a red flag and cause for great concern. He might die when she gets everything exactly like she wants it. jmo

[kygorski]

If I got this right, this guy is over 60yrs old? Gee he's lucky, gets to think with two heads.

[Tom523]

Does your friend happen to have adult children? If so, I would be willing to bet you a steak dinner she is gradually taking everything they are entitled to. Almost the same thing happened to my husband's father and when he got his head out from under her skirt, he had already lost half a million dollars. She had already talked to the realtor to arrange the auction of his house, 300 acres of land, and all the cattle. We stopped the auction and I backed her into a wall and read her the riot act and threatened to wring her neck. Soon thereafter my father-in-law died and she thought she had it made with her half million. She died 6 months later and her kids blew through that money like Castor Oil through an old woman.

Take your friend off to the side and give him a little wake up call by pointing out your concerns. The very last thing he needs is a house boat especially one on the raging Mississippi River. Suggest that he kick that druggie out of the house and send his wife packing along with him. If you are not brave enough, get to his children or family members and express your concern for the welfare and wellbeing of your friend. His new wife demanding that he change the beneficiary on his life insurance over to her is a red flag and cause for great concern. He might die when she gets everything exactly like she wants it. jmo

He has no children and everything had was paid for until he met his new wife. He bought that doublewide for her and 4 months after she moved in she talked him into selling everything. Last week her and her son came over my house to see the new deck i put on and when I asked her where her husband was she told me " he's at home and I can't stand being over there with him." I ignore that and changed the conversation. Then he called me Monday and told me that he sold the house and was selling everything. I talked to him Monday night and he was dead set on doing it. His wife said that she called the realtor and he came up right away. He made a phone call and asked if he could show the house in an hour. They said it was ok. The buyer came and looked at it and said he wanted it. He was preapproved for a VA loan. However it had to have a full block foundation. When I went over there Monday the footer was already poured. He had sold some furniture to the Realtor and some to the neighbors. I called his friends from Columbia and Burkesville and they are coming down to talk to him. They are like me, they didn't like his new wife from the day they met her. We can all see what she is doing, but he can't see it!