Happy Anniversary to Krista and ME...

[elnutsmalljaws]

Happy anniversary Elnut and Krista; hope you have a hundred more.

Now having said that, let's get down to the thing that concerns me most. WHY are you believing that you will get cancer in your 40s or 50s? It's just words that others have spoken, a bridge that you more than likely will never cross. You don't have cancer NOW and you have no proof you will have it at any point in your life, so stop believing that you will. Instead, believe that you will be healed and made whole for the glory of God our Father. Remember that you still have a son to raise and nobody but YOU can be his father. Who else on earth but you can raise him right, to be a model citizen with good morals, and teach him the right way to live? Nobody but you; that's your job. I know what I am talking about because my sister died and left 2 babies in diapers who walked around crying and searching for their mother for almost a year. They would even whine for her while they were sleeping and, try and we might, we found nothing that would fill the void in their little hearts. I hugged, kissed, cuddled, rocked, played, bought toys, and fed them warm bottles but I was not their mother and I couldn't fill her role and neither could my mother.

Concentrate on getting well and living, there are enough dead fathers already in the cemeteries. Your work on earth isn't nearly finished; YOU HAVE A SON TO RAISE and teach the things he needs to know to become a man, a good man.

Sorry that I have not responded sooner but been at UK the past couple of days. The reason that I think I will have more medical problems including Cancer is that my surgeon and internal medicine doctors both say that due to all that anesthesia, antibiotics, MASSIVE doses of Tigercycline, plus all the other drugs that I have had to take due to my surgeries and 3 different staff infections that my kidneys and liver have had to process a ton of stuff. Plus the fact that by doing this will deplete your body of the ability to fight off certain other side affects. They are both pretty sure that I will have kidney, liver, respiratory and heart problems as well as the risk of me getting cancer is greater than a man getting lung cancer who has smoked for 50 years. Not a pretty outlook and my internal medicine doctor is also now at UK and he already has a list of certain doctors that he will refer me to IF/WHEN any of these happen. I have accepted that it is coming and if it does not then all the better but if it does then I am more than ready. BAD NEWS IS NO GOOD ANYTIME BUT IT IS BETTER EARLY THAN LATE. Been saying this for many years in my management career. Basically, if you have bad news for someone then tell them as soon as you know so they can either adjust to the news, take certain steps to minimize the effects of the bad news but also to just get it out of the way. I am glad that they are telling me these things now instead of me waking up one day and going to the hospital to find out I need dialysis, kidney transplant, chemo or any other procedures the most likely I may end up having. That is LIFE. We all have our own lives, some are better than others, some fish more than others, some have more money than others, some have bigger and nicer things that others but as my preacher said last week, "Do the best you can with what you got". We are doing the best we can with what we got. I would love to play golf again, used to be pretty decent in breaking 80 on a regular basis (71 best round at what used to be Sportland in Winchester) but I will NEVER swing a golf club again and even gave everything away. I would love to fish whenever I want but with me going from $150,000 a year job to my earned disability on a monthly basis and $73,000 in medical bills owed, that will NEVER happen again. I would love to pick up my son and hold him anytime I want but with not being able to lift more than 15lbs and bandages on my stomach everyday makes this extremely difficult. THAT IS LIFE!!!! I expect to be sick the rest of my life and have accepted this. We do the best we can with what we got, and I do the best I can with what I have to deal with on a daily basis. I am not ever going to give up on any of my medical issues and will keep fighting for myself, my wife and my 3 kids for as long as I am breathing. I appreciate all the support that everyone here gives and yes it does make the day go by better when I talk fishing because I don't think there is anyone that loves to fish more than me. Winter, Spring, Summer Fall, Day, Night, Rain, Sleet, Snow you pick it and I will fish in it and have fished in it. Thanks again

[kygorski]

I wish you all the luck in the world. I feel for your family elnut, they have been and are going through hell,may the good lord give all of you the strenght, todeal with the coming years. I lost my high school sweet heart after 27 yrs, 5 of those years she about 60% paralilized, so I know medical debt. My second chance, ended after 15 yrs, pancreatic cancer, it was quick but painfull, I was so depressed that I just couldn't believe there was any reason to go, no one reallyneeded me anymore. But my priest and i had a long talk, and my faith was again restored. have had two heart a ttacks, and no have a malfunctioning bladder, waiting for it to quit. But unlike you I've had many good years, and now appeciate waking up[several times a day], its day to day now, but untill you're in that situation, you know the value of faith, and love that your family has to give. May the good lord watch over all of you,life is preciois, enjoy what God gives you,And i always think there is someone worse off than I am, some of our worst days are better than some folks good days, hang in there brother.