
Originally Posted by
Devils Horse
Thanks for the plug Don.
Were I President...
Anyone who can prove they fish recreationally more than 80 days a year goes into a 10% flat tax bracket. Sales taxes on all artificial baits are deductible. Zoom plastics shall be federally subsidized and tax free. Banjo Minnows, Helicopter lures, and Flying lures shall be excluded. Every recreational angler is eligible for 10 federally issued rods per year.
Fishing boat related expenses including gas, oil, repairs, and interest payments are deductible. Jet ski operators will be subject to an intelligence examination consisting of pouring urine from a boot with directions printed on the outer heel. Those who fail said test shall only be allowed on the waterways during the week of July 4th, the Memorial Day, and Labor Day holidays.
Anglers who can provide documented proof their spouse has hindered their angling activities by nagging, 'cutting them off', or by just plain behaving coldly to them, shall be issued special barley credits in my Adult Beverage Reinvestment and Recovery act. Offending spouses shall attend mandatory counseling and be required to watch every single Miller and Bud Light television commercial ever made.
Federal minners/nightcrawlers will be issued free of charge to documented citizens who are in possession of at least a Zebco 202, and to minors possessing Barbie, Spiderman, or other theme based fishing equipment. Rods which are self launched, or fire any type of projectile shall be excluded from consideration.
My cash for lunkers program will pay $100 for every catch-and-release largemouth over 5 pounds, every smallmouth over 4, and every spot over 3. Under special provision 1.0.31.14-312B certain panfish such a slab crappie will be reimbursed at a rate proportional to the amount of fillets they stock the Commander in Chief's freezer with.