Why I am fat

[Tyme2fish]

I finally figured out why I am fat! I should have figured it out sooner. It's the shampoo I use in the shower. When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body. Printed very clearly on the shampoo label it reads, "FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY." I have gotten rid of the shampoo and I am going to start using Dawn dish soap. On its label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."

Problem Solved

[elnutsmalljaws]

I finally figured out why I am fat! I should have figured it out sooner. It's the shampoo I use in the shower. When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body. Printed very clearly on the shampoo label it reads, "FOR EXTRA VOLUME AND BODY." I have gotten rid of the shampoo and I am going to start using Dawn dish soap. On its label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."

Problem Solved

That is outstanding.

Since I don't ever bathe in any sorts, religious thing you know, I am fat because of Ale 8 One, Sir Pizza Royal Feast, Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream Pies and the fact that I cut down to running 5 miles a day from my usual 10 miles. Now I get winded just walking to the microwave

[jcb]

Sir Pizza Royal Feast

Truly an instrument of Satan

[HURRICANEBOB]

Tyme,

Never fat. You are just a repository of potential energy stored for periods when the economy requires drawing on reserves. I think of the gut hanging over my belt as a "savings account". Unfortunately, the hottties aren't paying me much interest.

[elnutsmalljaws]

Tyme,

Never fat. You are just a repository of potential energy stored for periods when the economy requires drawing on reserves. I think of the gut hanging over my belt as a "savings account". Unfortunately, the hottties aren't paying me much interest.

So you have the "Dunlapped" disease as well? My belly "Dunlapped" over my belt! If it is a "savings account" then PLEASE tell me how to transfer from this "savings account" to my checking account. I just checked on line and there was no option for this transaction. I guess I will have to stop in at a branch and ask them because if they can get this money out then I am in the Oprah tax bracket. I can only imagine if it was done when I was 563 lbs then move over Bill Gates

[RICHYD4U]

So you have the "Dunlapped" disease as well?

We refer to it as your "dickiedoo"...cause you know it sticks out farther then...well...

-Rich

[jcb]

I've always liked "He's got him a real nice food blister".

[HURRICANEBOB]

We refer to it as your "dickiedoo"...cause you know it sticks out farther then...well...

-Rich

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH....HAAAAAAAAAH! I have a mirror with a long handle.

"I can see clearly now the brain is gone. I can see passed all obstacles in my way....."

NEWS FLASH: Satelite imagery has just confirmed. "Bin Hangin" is dead!

[elnutsmalljaws]

AAAAAAAAHHHHHH....HAAAAAAAAAH! I have a mirror with a long handle.

"I can see clearly now the brain is gone. I can see passed all obstacles in my way....."

NEWS FLASH: Satelite imagery has just confirmed. "Bin Hangin" is dead!

Does that long handled mirror come with a pair of tweezers and a magnifying glass? I have a tendency of pulling the wrong hair and tinkling down my leg.

[elnutsmalljaws]

ABSOLUTE TRUE STORY

A few years back I was the Operations Manager for a company in Shelbyville. The plant floor was open and of course not climate controlled. One ice cold winter day my first shift supervisor of the front building came into my office and he was shaking his insulated coverall leg and I said what did you do? He said he went to take a leak and he thought he was urinating in the urinal until he felt the warm sensation soaking down his leg into his boots. I started laughing and he said "everytime I go it is a 50/50 proposition in trying to get a 2 inch weiner thru 4 inches if clothes".

To this day I still remember that story. God Rest His Soul for that man passed away a couple of years ago and I still think of him often.

[RICHYD4U]

ABSOLUTE TRUE STORY

I started laughing and he said "everytime I go it is a 50/50 proposition in trying to get a 2 inch weiner thru 4 inches if clothes".

LMAO...now that's funny right there, I don't care who you are!

-Rich

[HURRICANEBOB]

Does that long handled mirror come with a pair of tweezers and a magnifying glass? I have a tendency of pulling the wrong hair and tinkling down my leg.

Naw, weed wacker and a Boca Grip!