Facebook Parenting: For the Troubled Teen

[jcb]

My feeling after watching that video was that it's no wonder his daughter has issues. He's doing exactly what he's mad at his daughter for. Venting to other people. That's not how to parent.

[waterdog101]

I think the dad should have started 15 years earlier being a parent. if you are a parent and teach your children the meaning of love, by the way you show them love. then they will never disrespect you. children are always watching what their parents say and do. and they will copy you. she was doing just what dad taught her to do.

[Tim_T]

I loved it, it is refreshing to see someone parent without having to read Dr. Spock.

[jcb]

There's nothing Dr. Spock-ish about going to your teenager if there is a problem instead of trying to play Chuck Norris on her Facebook wall. The biggest challenge in parenting teenagers is not being tough on them, it's communicating with them. What he did was a lot easier than actually sitting down with her.

[Tim_T]

There's nothing Dr. Spock-ish about going to your teenager if there is a problem instead of trying to play Chuck Norris on her Facebook wall. The biggest challenge in parenting teenagers is not being tough on them, it's communicating with them. What he did was a lot easier than actually sitting down with her.

How do you know he didn't already sit down with her and have a talk? My guess is, other steps had already been taken and he decided to send a message.

As for it being hard to communicate with a teenager, I disagree. Anybody with 3 I.Q. points and a slight interest in their teen can communicate with them. The problem is that most parents are not tough on their kids and let them get away with too much, because it is easier than parenting.

[jcb]

I don't think we're far apart, Tim.

As to the parent, I don't know whether he had a previous talk with her or not. I do know that no matter how many he had, he needed another one. If he had one, he needed two. If he had a dozen, he needed 13. "Sending a message" via Facebook is the coward's way out. He just made her an object of ridicule to millions of people. I seriously doubt if that is going to help his daughter, or his relationship with her.

I agree with a lot of your second paragraph, except I think the reason there are so many troubled teens is deeper than just "parents are not tough enough on their kids". My experience is, the reason many parents are lenient is because the parents themselves haven't yet grown up. They can't hold their kids to a standard they themselves won't live by. Teenagers are the best hypocrisy detectors alive.

[Tim_T]

I don't think we're far apart, Tim.

As to the parent, I don't know whether he had a previous talk with her or not. I do know that no matter how many he had, he needed another one. If he had one, he needed two. If he had a dozen, he needed 13. "Sending a message" via Facebook is the coward's way out. He just made her an object of ridicule to millions of people. I seriously doubt if that is going to help his daughter, or his relationship with her.

I agree with a lot of your second paragraph, except I think the reason there are so many troubled teens is deeper than just "parents are not tough enough on their kids". My experience is, the reason many parents are lenient is because the parents themselves haven't yet grown up. They can't hold their kids to a standard they themselves won't live by. Teenagers are the best hypocrisy detectors alive.

I don't think we are far apart either jcb. I just believe that there are times where the talking ceases to be effective and other measure's are called for. I am not sure if we he did will work or not, I am just glad to see that he did something! Many parents these days would not have.

[GeoFisher]

Tim I know what you mean......Most parents stop parenting.

Both of my daughters are pretty good kids. AND all kids try to see what they can get away with and it is up to the parents to resolve those issues. This girl will probably end up being a total basket case for many OTHER reasons.

With my daughters, they both have given me reasons to be tough on them. In my oldest daughters case, we caught her in a very serious lie when she was a Freshman in high school. She was a little older than other kids her grade, and was already driving. The lie occurred just after school started around Thanksgiving time. Long story short. We took her keys for the REST of the school year. Made her follow an EXACT schedule, and enforced some very STRICT rules. It was up to her to earn our trust again, which she did. She is a GREAT kid, and I think that action steered her from 1 path to another.

My other daughter, my youngest, has a MOUTH.....and has been lippy at times. She gets 1 and ONLY 1 warning. A second mouth off gets her car taken away. A few times is all it took. She now understands and respects the fact that while I might not be right, I'm the BOSS....PERIOD. At least while she is in my house.

Both of my kids are older now.............19 and 21. Both are in college, and both still push the limits a little. There are a few things that are unacceptable to me.

* Lying
* Breaking Curfew
* NOT being Responsible.

While they are in my house the rules above are NON NEGOTIABLE. Also, while in my house there are no assumptions about privacy. YOUR room is not your room. It is MY ROOM, and I let you borrow it. Anything in that room is FAIR GAME....Don't give me reason to snoop and I will not.

I run a Totalitarian Dictatorship......emphasis DICT........

Later,

Geo

[pontooner]

So the daughter posted something complaining about how she felt she was being treated (was disrespectful) and the dad post a video showing how he dealt with her and pretty much ridicules her. I see no winner here.


I hate not knowing the full story and wondered why was the dad out on his own at age 15, was his parents to strict, let him run wild, just a bad situation.............

To quote jcb : "Teenagers are the best hypocrisy detectors alive"

[GeoFisher]

So the daughter posted something complaining about how she felt she was being treated (was disrespectful) and the dad post a video showing how he dealt with her and pretty much ridicules her. I see no winner here.


I hate not knowing the full story and wondered why was the dad out on his own at age 15, was his parents to strict, let him run wild, just a bad situation.............

To quote jcb : "Teenagers are the best hypocrisy detectors alive"

His father probably beat the living snot out of him for acting that way.

Today, you spank your kid and end up serving 20 to LIFE..........

I'm sorry but discipline in this country has gone to hell, and had that little princess been mine.......well I'd be spending 20 to LIFE........

Later,

Geo

[kygorski]

My wife believed in the talking to them approach.In cases where she didn't believe they heard clearly, she would repeat. And then all hell would break loose!A few years ago, my son and I were bringing up "old times", he said" I thought Lifeboy was somekind of bad dessert"

[jcb]

LOL yeah I had the soap once or twice myself.

The best way to be a good parent is to be a good person. Kids are most likely to imitate whatever behavior we model for them. My two are already better people than I am.