1. Chuck Norris. He doesn't coach football...but one well placed roundhouse kick will make any kid a Heisman candidate.
2. Barack Obama. Anything to get him the hell out of the White House.
3. The Turtle Man...signal for every play is Liiiiiive Action! YeYeYe!
Who in the crap with any kind of football knowledge would want to coach at this joint anyway?
Best we can hope for is an up-and-comer for a few years. We should have hired Mike Leach.



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