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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Greenville,IN
    Posts
    3,027
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    Problems with my 1999 Ford Ranger pickup

    I bought my 1999 Ford Ranger extended cab in March of 1999. It was brand new, off the show room floor. Cherry Red in color, 5 speed manual, 6 cylinder with very few frills or add ons. It has AC and a cassette deck but no electric windows or cruise control.

    Recently I have noticed that somehow the Klingon Bird of Prey Cloaking device has become activated. I have observed motorists pulling right out in front of me as if I was invisible or "cloaked". As my truck is bright red in color , I find it impossible that other drivers don't see me.

    Could the cloaking device somehow have been activated? How do I turn it off and where is it located?

    Another problem: My stop light actuator is stuck in the on position. Every time I approach a stoplight, the light turns from green to red. Could this be caused by the spectral diffusion deflection from the red paint on my truck?


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    New Albany, Indiana.
    Posts
    8,955
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyme2fish View Post
    I bought my 1999 Ford Ranger extended cab in March of 1999. It was brand new, off the show room floor. Cherry Red in color, 5 speed manual, 6 cylinder with very few frills or add ons. It has AC and a cassette deck but no electric windows or cruise control.

    Recently I have noticed that somehow the Klingon Bird of Prey Cloaking device has become activated. I have observed motorists pulling right out in front of me as if I was invisible or "cloaked". As my truck is bright red in color , I find it impossible that other drivers don't see me.

    Could the cloaking device somehow have been activated? How do I turn it off and where is it located?

    Another problem: My stop light actuator is stuck in the on position. Every time I approach a stoplight, the light turns from green to red. Could this be caused by the spectral diffusion deflection from the red paint on my truck?

    I'd go out onto EBAY and look for a couple rail mounted maverick missile launchers for the top of your truck. the are perfect for blasting those IDIOTS off the road. Once they pull in front of you.......Activate, lock on and prepare to dodge the random flying vehicle parts.........

    Once through the parts field, you're good to go.

    you might have to use the ebay portal in pakistan, iraq, somalia, syria, or some other hot spot, but I'm SURE you can get them

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Richmond, Kentucky
    Posts
    2,187
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    Sounds like bad blinker fluid and some worn out muffler bearings to me. Trust me - I had a '99 Ranger.

  4. #4
    HURRICANEBOB Guest
    They pull out in front to escort you thru the dangerous areas. Think of them as your "presidential motorcade".
    They will clear the road of hazards ahead of you.

    Red lights are advisory in nature. If you decide to stop when you see them, it's your decision and you bear the delay consequences. :-). Look at the bright side. You have red, green, and amber. 2 of 3 let you go straight thru. So you only have a 33% chance of having to stop. On the other hand, if those intersections had stop signs, you'd have to stop 100% of the time, increasing trip delays by potentially up to 200% over only having to stop 33% of the time for a redlight.

    Last option: Always drive VERY SLOW. The cars that pull out will be further in front of you, and the red lights have more time to turn green. This alos allows more time to take pictures of the idiots with your smart phone, and to call you insurance company and drop your deductible to zero before the collision.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 1969
    Location
    Edmonson co. Ky.
    Posts
    613
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyme2fish View Post
    I bought my 1999 Ford Ranger extended cab in March of 1999. It was brand new, off the show room floor. Cherry Red in color, 5 speed manual, 6 cylinder with very few frills or add ons. It has AC and a cassette deck but no electric windows or cruise control.

    Recently I have noticed that somehow the Klingon Bird of Prey Cloaking device has become activated. I have observed motorists pulling right out in front of me as if I was invisible or "cloaked". As my truck is bright red in color , I find it impossible that other drivers don't see me.

    Could the cloaking device somehow have been activated? How do I turn it off and where is it located?

    Another problem: My stop light actuator is stuck in the on position. Every time I approach a stoplight, the light turns from green to red. Could this be caused by the spectral diffusion deflection from the red paint on my truck?

    Were you on the tv show The Big Bang Theory?

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