Jokes

[Moveon]

Blondes
A plane is on its way to toronto , when a blonde in
economy class gets up, and moves to the first class
section and sits down.
...
The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks
to see her ticket.

He then tells the blonde that she paid for economy
class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm
going to toronto and i'm staying right here."

the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells
the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde
bimbo sitting in first class, that belongs in
economy, and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to
explain that because she only paid for economy
she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm
going to toronto and i'm staying right here."

the co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should
have the police waiting when they land to arrest
this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "you say she is a blonde? I'll
handle this, i'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde."

he goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear,
and she says, "oh, i'm sorry." and gets up and goes
back to her seat in economy..

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and
asked him what he said to make her move without
any fuss.

"i told her softly, "first class isn't going to toronto ".

[Colbyt]

Okay. I will throw an old one out also.

Golf and the Devil

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. "Boy, I"d give anything to sink this putt," the golfer mumbles to himself. Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?"


Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen so he says, "Sure," and sinks the putt.


Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gee, I sure would like to get an eagle on this one." The same stranger is at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another fourth of your sex life?"


Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." And he makes an eagle.


On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?"


"Definitely," the golfer replies, and he makes the eagle.


As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks alongside him and says, "I haven"t really been fair with you because you don"t know who I am. I"m the devil, and from this day forward you will have no sex life."

"Nice to meet you," the golfer replies, "I"m Father O'Malley."