I can relate to about 85% of these.
These should be said in the same manner as you might be a redneck if.....
You might be a boater if.......you attempt to repair a cracked fiberglass bathtub with 5200.
You used a Rule Automatic bilge pump in your basement, when the floor drain backed up due to high ground water.
You convinced yourself that you really did need a "teak" toilet seat
You buy ONLY stainless steel hardware.
You routinely use a boga grip to weigh stuff.
You have about nine or ten old marine batteries sitting on the garage floor.
You wear Grundens to work when it rains.
Some of your best kitchen knives are Dexter Russells
You consult the NOAA marine forecast before scheduling appointments
You tell your friend they have something stuck in their teeth. Starboard side.
You don't own a "raincoat" and show-up at the office in yellow foul weather gear.
You can accurately estimate the wind speed by looking at a tree.
Your sister has given you lighthouse nick-nacks for the last 12 Xmas's
You have a boat in the yard that hasn't run in 15 yrs. But you still tell the wife your going to fix it and go fishing.
You use 150lb rated snap swivels to replace the button that fell off of your pants and/or shorts...
You are driving down the road and will speed up just to take a look at the boat thats a few car lengths ahead.. Not because you necessarily like the boat, but because it is a boat, and you wanna look at it.
You are driving down the road with you girlfriend and you see a boat in the distance and accurately name the make, model, and engine manufacturer before you even get a good look at it and it is too far away to read a name or engine make on it.. Your g/f then proceeds to call you a dork..
You have red and green side lights that work installed on your desk at work.
You have a fish mail box .
You get at least 6 boating/fishing subscribtions
You wear sperry's 7 days a week
You have one of those gold anchors or fish around your neck
You think that Capt Ron is the man
You get off at a good boat show
You love the smell of teak or fiberglass in the morning
You record all the boating and fishing shows
You know what sea foam is used for
You have an old dingy/rowboat in your yard that's used as a planter.
Your basement or garage looks like a West Marine store.
You know what woody wax is
You buy your wife an anchor ball for a Christmas present
The folks at BassPro know you by name.