Fishin Pox Epidemic

Cold, wind and snow, has had fishermen spending way too much time in the garage, basement or by the fireplace. The persistent winter weather has kept many off the lake since before Christmas even though the fish don’t seem to mind.

The longer fishermen spend on the internet, watching television and reading fishing catalogues, the more susceptible they become to catching “Fishing Pox”. In fact, some parts of the state are reporting the dreaded disease has reached epidemic proportions. In case you haven’t heard, Fishing Pox has been around since pre-historic times. That is why archeologists find so many drawings of fish on the walls of caves. Until recently, it wasn’t though to be a disease, so it’s not covered by health insurance or Medicare.

What are the symptoms, you might ask? In the beginning stages, the telltale signs are laying on the couch for extended periods of time, watching re-runs of Bill Dance Bloopers on television, flipping the pages of fishing catalogues and spending hours on outdoor websites. This is followed by periods of pining, despondency and a craving for Vienna sausage. The final stage, and the most expensive one, is when the sufferer leaves the house to get away for a few minutes. The first stop is usually a sporting goods store. Because Fishing Pox has a deadening effect on the senses (common sense), money spent on tackle, marine electronics, and other gear doesn’t seem to matter. Besides, it’s easy to rationalize just by saying; “What the heck, I haven’t spent any money on fishing equipment all winter.” In extreme cases, the Pox victim skips the outdoor shops and goes instead to his favorite bass boat or truck dealership. There he is greeted warmly and treated like an old fishing buddy, all the while the salesperson is selling him a new bass boat or 4 X 4 truck.

Those that have had the Fishing Pox, know the only real cure is to go fishing. If it’s too windy, cold or raining, so what, go anyway!