Originally Posted by
bassin_bug
From a woman's point of view, I can understand how much you are hurting because you know you raised your daughter right and taught her the best values. That alone should erase the self-imposed guilt. When you have done your best, nothing else is required because you have nothing else to give. As someone else has already said, opinions have changed and pregnancy in an unmarried woman is no longer regarded as a disgrace upon the family. If I could step over into yours and your wife's shoes, I would jump into them and welcome your load rather than to have gone through what my husband and I went through.
You see, I have been where you are now and it didn't turn out well. I married a man who had a teenage daughter from a previous marriage. Her mother packed her bags and handed her over to me saying, "You are the best mother for her and I'm giving her to you." She surrendered her parental rights and I gladly adopted the girl. When she was 16 she told us that she was pregnant. My husband and I agreed to give it a few days to soak in so we could think clearly and plan a course of medical care to make sure she and the baby were healthy. We secretly talked about raising the baby so she could finish school; we talked about adoption because she wasn't thrilled about being pregnant. Once we overcame the shock I started talking about buying baby clothes and making a nursery. A week later, on her 17th birthday, she was away from the house and called to speak with her daddy. We thought something was wrong because she sounded different. He said, "Honey, are you okay; is our baby okay?" As coldly and as human can speak she said, "I'm fine now, I had an abortion today." I saw my husband lurch as though an invisible fist had slammed into his stomach; he folded over and fell to his knees and rolled with his face down in the middle of the floor. God help me, I hope I never again hear such cries as came from the depths of my husband's soul. Neither of us could speak for days, all we did was cry. We had lost a baby, a member of our family had been mercilessly murdered and our arms would never hold that precious little angel. We couldn't even give it a funeral, a proper burial, a final resting place; it was forever lost. We didn't get to plead its case or plead for its life; it was murdered to cover its mother's sins. She is now suffering horrible guilt, shame, depression, and is wondering if it was a boy or girl and what it would have been if she had let it live. The abortion has had a traumatic affect on her and she deeply regrets it but it's too late.
This is not what you had planned for your daughter but it's not the end of the world. It will be whatever you make of it so let your daughter know she has your unconditional love. She is probably hurting as bad or worse than you are. In a couple of years you will have a little shadow holding onto your fingers and teaching you a lot of lessons about love. I'm going to pray that it's a boy so you will have a little buddy to keep your fishing stories straight. My prayers are sent for you and your family. God bless and keep you.
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