fishin and relationships

[lizardking]

Ask her where to Sign, and and take your new girlfriend fishing
I did. You know why divorce is so exspensive dont ya?
cause its worth it...and if you cant live without her go anyway
life is to precious to waist.

[TrackerMike]

[

she has no hobby except the mall,every weekend every store.and no friends...

Seems to me, I'd start keeping a log of time and money spent. Play her game and trade dollar for dollar and hour for hour. With the 14 mo. old though, seems she has you by the .................... There does seem to be some kind of underlying control issue. No one can / should tell you how to handle this. Go fish and look within. Only you have the answer that will work for you, and only you have to liove with whatever course you choose to take.

Good Luck & God Bless
Mike

[CTFSHWHISKER]

Perhaps this is the key. Do you give her time away from the baby to relax? Do you change the stinky diapers? Do you take care of putting the baby to bed 4 nights a week? Maybe if you gave her more baby-free time, she would give you more fishing time with less resistance. Newborns can put a lot of pressure/stress on a new Mom.

Just my 2 cents, and that is probably all it is worth.

her idea is if you say time away then you shouldn't be married.I try give her a day,when i mention it then it's a fight..oh so you don't want to spend the day with me,she don't see it as a day for her..as me wanting to be rid of her.Yes i do the diaper thing.I don't get home from work til 11:45 so she is in bed,therefore i get up with her in the morning so the wife can sleep in..I give her baths every other day fix her eats,dress her and spend the morning with her til she naps and i go to work.
I,some of you,and others around seem to see the same control thing,i asked here because of unbiasness,as my family may have.I wanted other opinions.It just seems no matter what i try it don't work.I have not had a rod (fishing)
in my hand since a week before t-giving,been malling and doing what i can to see if it would help,soon imentioned fishing the first warm days it started.
seems no matter what she wants to make a fight of it.i quote her"if couples don't fight they don't love each other"could be why she was divorced the first time..and my mom and dad must hate each other

[18'stratos]

My wife and I had some hard times in our marriage (some of which I created) Not a good thing. After seeing a counselor we have repaired our marriage and working on it Dailey! Our counselor actually said that me giving up fishing should not be an option. That is my ZEN time. She told my wife if she took that from me then there would be no hope in even trying to work on the marriage. Fishing was not the reason for the counseling, therefore it was part of the recovery. Away time makes you appreciate the time together. To much time together equals fights. Was your wife raised by parents that fought all the time and I guess by the previouse statement that you made, they do. (people who love eachother, fight) That is the biggest load of crap ever. Tell her, people who love eachother.......... COMPROMISE! Go Fish! Hell she is mad if you go and mad if you don't go. You are screwed either way. Get some professional help. Hope all ends well. (Don't stay together for the child, you will develop a resentment towards the child) Kids deserve better than that. Happy Parents!

[RICHYD4U]

Ctfshwhisker-
Man...your Situation Sounds Like A Page Out Of The Book Of My Life! I Also Married A "mall" Girl! If She Had Her Way, Everyday We Were Together, We'd Be Shopping. I've Attempted To Take Her Fishing With No Success. I Always Make Sure I Take Her To A Spot Where She Is Guranteed To Catch Fish, But Even That Hasn't Worked. She Just Says, "this Is So Boring Catching The Same Looking Fish Over And Over." She Usually Lasts 1 Hr.

We've Been Married 7 Yrs Now, And I've Stopped Attempting To "convert" Her. We Have A 4 Yr Old Daughter Who I Am Currently Working On! She Loves It, So Far! As For Serious Fishing Trips With The Guys, I Make Sure I Tell My Wife At Least A Week In Advance. This Seems To Be The Ticket. If I "spring" A Trip On Her Quick...she Gets ******! But If I Tell Her I'm Going Fishing Next Saturday With The Boyz, She'll Gripe A Little, Than Give In.

You Seem To Have Two Problems With Your Wife: 1)she Has No Friends 2)she Hates Fishing. You Really Need One Of These Two Things To Be Able To Go Fishing. People Need Friends To Be Happy! If Your Wife Had Friends, She'd Have Someone To Keep Her Company While You Were Off Fishing. A Wife With No Friends, And Who Hates Fighing, Only Equals Wanting To Spend Every Second With You Shopping!

The Only Reason I Am Able To Slip Out Fishing At All Is Because My Wife Has Friends...cause She Definetly Hates Fishing! When I'm Gone Fishing, She Has Friends To Hang With. Women Are So...sooooooo....needy! They Need Constant Companionship! Men Are The Exact Opposite. We Don't Need Anyone! We Like Our Alone Time! It's Science! Lol!

I Feel For Ya Man...i Wish I Had The Magical Solution To Your Problem, But I Don't! Whatever You Do, You Can't Give Up Fishing. It's Part Of Who We Are! There Has To Be A Compromise On Both Sides, Because A Marriage Without Compromise Will Not Last. Hope To See You Out On The Water Bro! Hang Tough!

[GeoFisher]

Wow........Interesting thread..........Some good advice here and LOTS of GARBAGE.

I've been married for 18 years to a WONDERFUL woman.....high school sweetheart. She's known me most of my life and KNOWS I like fishing.

BUT, when my kids were young, I didnt' do too much travelling to fish, DIDN'T own a boat, and was LUCKY to get out a couple hours a week after work. Those years were for my wife and KIDS....................I bought my first boat when my youngest was 2 or 3, and my wife was in a better position to manage the girls without me around 2 or 3 days a MONTH. These trips were NOT overnight trips........

When I did start fishing more, I made SURE I did everything with my kids and wife that I could. I coached softball, basketball, etc, etc, and went to EVERY dance function both of my girls had. AND managed to fish PLENTY. Hell, my wife even convinced me to go watch ICE HOMO's a couple times. SHe is really into ice skating, and even though it about made me PUKE, I managed to sit through some of those shows......took one for the team, so to speak.

Now that my girls are older, and both in high school, they want me around for certain functions, but I tend to fish WHENEVER I WANT, and can get away........

Lots of the posts under this thread are PLAIN SELFISH. You chose to get married, you CHOSE to have kids........YOU NEED TO MAN up........and understand that MAYBE your wife needs more help that you think. There will be PLENTY of time to fish later.

AND if you end up getting divorced, you will NEVER spend the time you should with the kids, and YOU WILL BE BROKE........from paying all the support. THINK REAL HARD ABOUT THAT........AND think about the costs of divorce vs staying married........Divorce will put your longterm goals off by 20 years, will half your income, will DESTROY your kids future, and probably limit the very think you want to do more.......

Try to work it out.....figure out a plan that works for both of you.......don't do overnight trips.......find some things that she's interested in doing, and do them with her.......

Finally, you didn't say if your wife works or not......if she doesn't TRY to convince her to get a part time job and let her KEEP all the income from it. That gives her the "mallrat" money she needs, and "balances" out the fishing costs.......

Finally, Finally........regarding the costs associated with fishing........We all know it COSTS a LOT..........I have a fixed allowance each 2 weeks. That allowance pays for gas in my truck, food, and MY entertainment. If I have money to go fishing......FINE.......if I don't, I DON'T FISH............PERIOD. She cannot bring up the costs because those costs are from my allowance.

I'm sorry if I'm sounding HARSH here but IT SHOULD.

Later,

Geo

[KyPit71]

Wow........Interesting thread..........Some good advice here and LOTS of GARBAGE.

I've been married for 18 years to a WONDERFUL woman.....high school sweetheart. She's known me most of my life and KNOWS I like fishing.

BUT, when my kids were young, I didnt' do too much travelling to fish, DIDN'T own a boat, and was LUCKY to get out a couple hours a week after work. Those years were for my wife and KIDS....................I bought my first boat when my youngest was 2 or 3, and my wife was in a better position to manage the girls without me around 2 or 3 days a MONTH. These trips were NOT overnight trips........

When I did start fishing more, I made SURE I did everything with my kids and wife that I could. I coached softball, basketball, etc, etc, and went to EVERY dance function both of my girls had. AND managed to fish PLENTY. Hell, my wife even convinced me to go watch ICE HOMO's a couple times. SHe is really into ice skating, and even though it about made me PUKE, I managed to sit through some of those shows......took one for the team, so to speak.

Now that my girls are older, and both in high school, they want me around for certain functions, but I tend to fish WHENEVER I WANT, and can get away........

Lots of the posts under this thread are PLAIN SELFISH. You chose to get married, you CHOSE to have kids........YOU NEED TO MAN up........and understand that MAYBE your wife needs more help that you think. There will be PLENTY of time to fish later.

AND if you end up getting divorced, you will NEVER spend the time you should with the kids, and YOU WILL BE BROKE........from paying all the support. THINK REAL HARD ABOUT THAT........AND think about the costs of divorce vs staying married........Divorce will put your longterm goals off by 20 years, will half your income, will DESTROY your kids future, and probably limit the very think you want to do more.......

Try to work it out.....figure out a plan that works for both of you.......don't do overnight trips.......find some things that she's interested in doing, and do them with her.......

Finally, you didn't say if your wife works or not......if she doesn't TRY to convince her to get a part time job and let her KEEP all the income from it. That gives her the "mallrat" money she needs, and "balances" out the fishing costs.......

Finally, Finally........regarding the costs associated with fishing........We all know it COSTS a LOT..........I have a fixed allowance each 2 weeks. That allowance pays for gas in my truck, food, and MY entertainment. If I have money to go fishing......FINE.......if I don't, I DON'T FISH............PERIOD. She cannot bring up the costs because those costs are from my allowance.

I'm sorry if I'm sounding HARSH here but IT SHOULD.

Later,

Geo

Well I agree with you on some things Geo,But a Divorce will not ruin a kids future....staying in a bad marriage that is fighting all the time might..I come from a divorced mother and father and I turned out ok,granted I don't make $100,000 a year but I've been married for going on 16 yrs with 2 beautiful girls and a wonderful wife.Don't mean to be harsh but kind of took that personal even though it wasn't directed towards me....Good luck Ctfshwhisker on whatever you decide Chad

[RICHYD4U]

Well I agree with you on some things Geo,But a Divorce will not ruin a kids future....staying in a bad marriage that is fighting all the time might..I come from a divorced mother and father and I turned out ok,granted I don't make $100,000 a year but I've been married for going on 16 yrs with 2 beautiful girls and a wonderful wife.Don't mean to be harsh but kind of took that personal even though it wasn't directed towards me....Good luck Ctfshwhisker on whatever you decide Chad

I HAVE TO AGREE WITH YOU ON THIS ISSUE. ALTHOUGH DIVORCE IS EXTREMELY HARD AND CONFUSING FOR CHILDREN, IT'S A HECK OF A LOT BETTER THAN STAYING IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP...BEING VERBAL, PHYSICAL, OR SEXUAL. IN THOSE CASES, KIDS ARE DEFINETLY BETTER OFF WITH THE PARENTS DIVORCED AND CUSTODY GIVEN TO THE MORE STABLE OF THE TWO PARENTS. A LOT OF MY BEST FRIENDS COME FROM DIVORCED PARENTS AND ARE GREAT PEOPLE, DOING GREAT THINGS IN LIFE.

[KyPit71]

I agree 100%

[geobass]

Dam, I have never seen this much input on any topic ever! Not even when someone ask's which boat is better, Triton, Ranger or Bullit!

1. I have been married for 36 years. Love my wife and always will.
2. She HATES the time I spend away fishing. But she loves me and she will get over it.
3. If yours doesn't then you have 2 choices.

Must be all the lakes in Kentucky are frozen for there to be so much help on this topic.
I agree with the coment about women always wanting to change their men. I think it is more of control, something they learn from their mothers.

[jcb]

But she loves me and she will get over it.

This kind of self-centered thinking is the main reason the divorce rate is approaching 50%. Thinking like this most definitely makes the "2 choices" a reality.

[RoadToad]

I have been told the first time i go to a tournament i will recieve divorce papers,she even gets ticked if i go all night with my dad.How can this be dealt with

Maybe I'm being over-analytical here (I get that way), but it seems to me there's got to be more to this. My gut tells me it doesn't really matter what you're doing, it's just that you're not at home. Why is it she resents the time you spend away so much? Does she think that's time you could have spent working around the house, or being with her? Does she maybe think there's "shenanigans" going on? It may be hard to drag out of her, but I'd try and figure out what's really bothering her, and address that. And try not be confrontational about it. Remember the old saying: you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.